Rough and Crazy week....

To begin with, I was sick for 2 days last week, and thus missed one of my sessions with James, and I suppose losing a few pounds through vomiting doesn't really count.  I missed 3 days of cardio, and by the time I saw him on Saturday, though I felt better, I was still so weak.  And did I mention I'm really beginning to hate that pulley piece of equipment that James is convinced I have the strength in my arms to sit on the floor and pull 50lbs down with each arm????  more than once???  and do three sets???  I kinda felt at one point that when I extended my arms they would rip out of their sockets, but when I envisioned that happening and blood splurting all over the gym with my hands stuck clinging to the handles, I gutted it out and did the best I could.  I would have felt really bad if Brandi had to clean up that mess!  I'm feeling much better today, and hit the gym with Brian for a quick 45 minute/500 calorie burn cardio session-and it felt goooood! 

Now, Brian on the other hand, had a kick-ass week and though he didn't lose but a few pounds by the scale, he lost 6 folds on his stomach which means 3.1% body fat loss!!!  In two weeks!!!  Rock on hubby!  We are both at the point where if we don't make it to the gym for a day-we get kinda bitchy with each other and tend to be snappy.  AND Parker and Hailey are getting in on it too, I even tried to get Park to get me a Coke from the cooler outside and pretend like it was his if Dad saw him-and he wouldn't do it!!!  He looked right at me and said "Mom, NO!  You are on diet and you are doing so well, I'm not gonna get you one!"  THEN he dimed me out to Brian!  I am proud to say that I DID NOT have that Coke, and I lived! 

Just kidding, I am very proud of him for shutting me down in a weak moment and I know he's doing it out of love-isn't that what we are supposed to say to our kids?  I'm only doing this because I love you....
I feel soooo loved!
And that's exactly what I said to him when I made him run around the block the other day for talking back to me!  I love you Parker-and instead of taking your stuff away, or grounding you, or smacking you, just go run around the block.
He half-laughed and looked at me like I was joking, when I pointed my finger to the door Go-NOW!
He looked at me like I had three heads and pouted his way out the door.  Brian heard me and had to leave the room so as not to laugh at Parker in front of him, then I heard him yell from the garage Your Mom said RUN Parker, not walk-get a move on boy!
Then we both had a good laugh!  For those of you who don't know Park very well-he's not exactly the running type-and was less than thrilled to learn of his new punishment.  BUT-he agrees it was a good idea and decided to stop talking back-for the rest of that day anyway....he's run the block a few times since then.

Hailey turned 14 last week-oh, how the years have flown by!  So, craziness must have set in, because I agreed to let her and one of her BFF's (whose birthday is the day after Hay's) have a combo party together at our house!  Just a few-30 kids-Mom, please!!!   And I can't drink any alcohol!!!  What was I thinking??  It was good though, all the kids were very well behaved, and a good time was had by all!  Though when a couple of Moms I haven't met before dropped kids off for the party, they didn't think I was funny when they asked if Brian and I would be there all night and I laughed and replied  Well, yeah, except for while we are out to eat and at the movies....  I don't think they thought my dry humor was too humorous!  And yes, we remained home all night! 
We are going shopping soon with all her b-day money! 

The Ref was wishing Hailey a Happy Birthday after we walked in with all our homemade signs!



Hay and Tay-Happy 14th

The Party group!



Ethan not loving kisses from his big sissy!



                                                     

                                                     

Brian and I both managed to be off tomorrow night, so after my hour of grueling torture with James, and Hailey's volleyball game we are going on a date!  Since we can't very well go out to eat, we are going to the movies to see the new Ben Affleck flick 'The Town' and we'll be taking our bottled water, Crystal Light drop-ins and rice cakes with us-no movie popcorn or nachos for us anymore!  Hell, that ought to save us about thirty dollars at least!  !

My friend Andrea finished her transformation this weekend-and I cannot wait to see her 'after' pictures!  She looked awesome the last time I saw her about a month ago, and I know she has continued to work her ass off 'til the end!  You did it girl!!! 

My friend Jenn had a rough week, we spent some time on the phone in tears wondering what the hell we were doing, and her trying to convince me she couldn't go on.  But she got up and got to it!  She is hanging in there and kickin' butt too!  Jenn-those jeans are not far from looking hot on you too Momma-YOU CAN DO IT!!!   Brandi gave Jenn a tip I am going to steal for myself-every Wednesday try those jeans on and each week they will fit a little more, eventually, until they slide right on like they were made for you!  I have a cute pair of black pants I bought a few years ago that still have the tags on them, and I'm going to do the same thing until they fit!  They are hanging up in my closet-kinda creepy like-but when I feel like I can't do it anymore, I go look at those pants and know that I can do it, and I am going to fit into them by Christmas!! 

Brandi told me how much she enjoys hearing from others how her story and her success has inspired others to get healthy, and I after this week I know how she feels.  Two people have emailed me privately asking the same questions I asked of Brandi before I took the plunge and told me I have been their inspiration to get up and get to it themselves!  To begin to make better choices and change their lifestyles for the better.  I can't believe I've ever been called inspirational  before.  It is a tough road though, and anyone willing to take the plunge, I don't take credit for-but will stand by their sides as they have me, and offer as much encouragement, advice, tips and recipes on how to make chicken taste less like chicken when you've had it for 37 days straight that I can!

Thanks to all of my wonderful friends and family for the support and encouragement!  Off to do some exercise ball sit-ups and plank before bed!

It was so much easier to get fat than to take it off......

With that being said, I'm gonna throw some numbers at you all now, drum roll please......

weight Monday AM   186lbs
weight Tuesday PM    191lbs -evening, clothes on, 4 meals in, etc. 

the big news:  1.25% body fat loss

YEAH!!! 

I have been told not to watch the scale, so for the next two weeks, until measurements again, I am not going to weigh myself at home.  (and I'm going to make a morning appt with James so we see a HUGE loss that day-just kidding!)

As I look at myself in the mirror, I am noticing changes that I'm sure other people don't see-my husband does-but then again, he's the only one that does see me naked, well, besides my gynecologist, but that's another story.
In my torso I've noticed the biggest change.  You know that aspect of a woman's body that makes them look like an hourglass shape?  Well, the area from armpits to top of my hips has slimmed down immensely-the part of the hourglass the sand sifts through.  Now, I still got me some wide hourglass shape below that-but we're working on it!  My scrub pants are fitting better, and I'm close to getting into all the pairs I have hanging in my closet that are a whole size smaller!

I've seen James 6 times now in 3 weeks, and each time I feel stronger and less clumsy.  Though I think he can tell just how uncoordinated I am and he's not too willing to risk me falling over yet and having to pick me up off the floor to make me do anything to crazy like one-legged step ups on the square box thing with weights in my hands-yeah too coordinated for me to accomplish just yet!  Stronger-yes, most definitely.  I feel myself sitting up straighter, walking taller, and having more confidence-does that sound crazy?  It might-but it's sure how I feel! 

After my first post about my journey, I got lots of emails and phone calls of support and encouragement.  Thank you so much for those of you that took the time to post something, or call-it really does mean a lot to me.  It's funny how taboo weight is to talk about, especially amongst women-so many were people thanking me for being so honest and open.  Some told me it really made them realize that they, too, need to do something to get healthy.  Because I don't want everyone to think the only reason I am doing this is to be skinny.  It's a BIG reason, yes, cause I want to get me some cute new jeans at Christmas, and wear that slutty, made-for-a-12 -year-old-body Halloween costume next year for the party, and put on a swimsuit I would actually wear without a cover-up again someday.  But NO, that is not the main reason.  My main reasons?
my health
my children
my husband
my life

My health:  not good when you are overweight-all the terrible health risks that come with obesity: diabetes, heart disease, etc. etc.  Also, we recently found out that I have a mass on my right ovary-as a matter of fact, there is not much ovary left.  I will be having surgery sometime in October to have it removed and sent to pathology.  Is it cancerous?  Probably not,  but no one can say for sure until it's out and through path.  It is not a cyst, though has some cystic components along with a large solid mass.  And with my family history-a Grandmother who died from ovarian and breast cancer-it must come out!  After a recent ultrasound, it has been determined that it is a little larger than it originally measured before we went on vacation, so I have another ultrasound scheduled for mid-October to check it out one more time.  That has been my driving factor in getting healthy-an abdominal laprascopic surgery will put me down for 2-3 weeks, with no lifting and other restrictions, and I didn't want to wait until then to get started.  I talked to James about it before we began our sessions, and he was cool with it-start now, work my ass off, deal with what I can/can't do when the time comes-oh, but he will hold me to the diet during my down time-RATS, still no cheating there!

My children:  Hailey, Parker and Ethan are the loves of my life, they mean the world to me, and I think we have done a pretty darn good job bringing them up to be contributing members of society someday.  We are pretty strict with them, and they work hard at school and help out a lot at home.  Hailey and Parker are good kids, polite, kind, empathetic and caring-they haven't had typical childhoods because of having a brother like Ethan.  Though I don't think either one of them would change a thing-there are times I have rewarded them for dealing with what they have with food.  Our little vice for the last few years has been our Sunday nights together.  Brian goes to off-duty, and we pack up and head to QT-it's 32oz sodas, Twizzlers, Reece's Pieces, and cupcakes for all-everybody gets a couple of snacks!  Then back to the house, in my bed we all hang out and binge out.  TERRIBLE HABIT!!!  Parker is getting chunky-the round the middle kind of chunky-the bad fat, belly fat chunky, and he's only 11!  We are doing him no favors, just guaranteeing that he will probably get diabetes someday if we continue this ritual.  And Ethan.  Ahh, my special little guy.  I would really like to be around for him for as long as he needs me-and as long as he's alive, he's gonna need me!  By not taking care of myself, I am essentially not taking care of him, and that thought kills me.  Ethan is 35lbs of skinny, dead weight that would rather giggle and curl up in a ball when you pick him up than help you at all.  The last thing I need is to have a bad back or be too fat to haul him around!

My husband:  My greatest love, my husband of 8 years, the man I knew I would marry the day I met him and showed him my tatoo....we are doing this together, and man that feels good!  I love going to the gym with him, and shopping for our food together, and then making and packing all our meals together.  That probably sounds crazy too, but it's sooo true, and wonderful to have him by my side and supporting me!
AND-he started with James last week and he's doing awesome also!

My Life:  Well, more than anything, I've learned that my life and the people in it and the people who count on me are worth making better choices for and living life to the fullest of my potential! 

This was kind of a sappy post-but more humor soon-got lots to share, and big laughs coming up!

James and all the HitchFit Trainers going to Ontario this weekend for competetion-GOOD LUCK!!!!

Let's get Physical, physical. I wanna get physical!

Since I'm going to share my current journey of suffering and pain for the whole world to read, know that I am also going to be perfectly frank about all of it-good and bad.  Because I, for one, am usually pretty frank, if nothing else, so why change now I figure???

I am going to a personal trainer to lose weight and get in shape.
(that was weird even typing it-it kinda felt like a confession-but since I haven't visited a confessional since prior to Ethan's baptism, probably not an appropriate comparision-THAT story is a whole other blog about religious issues and what-not, so moving forward....)

It's time, it's been time, it's past time, whatever I can say that basically conveys there's no time like the present!

It all started with my friend Brandi-the wonderful photographer who has taken the gorgeous pictures of my children and our family for the past few years.  Brandi was introduced to a personal trainer through a friend and client, began going to him, and I have followed her journey since January. 
I watched her sit at our KCPDFF meetings with her bottle of water and Crystal Light mix-in, while I sat there with my pizza and beer and thought 'poor girl'. 
I guzzled mexican food and beer at our annual holiday party and watched as Brandi arrived late to avoid wanting to eat any of the awesome food we were having, instead eating her chicken and green beans before coming over. 
I worked with her at a sale in some cute-ass, skinny-ass jeans, as I snarfed down McDonalds and a big 'ole Coke(it was noon-a little early and inappropriate location for beer being as we were at the Police Academy, or I probably would have had one) 
And 5 months later, I saw her pictures on her facebook profile, and WOW!!!  Brandi has always been beautiful, inside and out, but boy did she look like one hot Mommma now!!  (and yes, I spelled Momma with 3 m's cause she deserves the extra one!)  Let's just say I became ever so slightly jealous.....as I stabbed a pin in the arm of the blond, skinny voo-doo doll I had under my bed named, ummm, Randi.....(just kidding, really. maybe. mostly kidding)

So, I decided to do something about my jealousy-make it a productive jealousy, envy myself skinny.  Doesn't work quite like that I figured out. 
I gave up Coke (for like a day) 
I told myself Brandi was too skinny(yeah, like I want to be!)
I began eating more chicken (chicken tacos, chicken enchiladas, chicken pizza)
I told myself I could never give up beer(or wine, or Vegas Bombs, or alcohol in general)
I switched from Miller Lite to MGD 64(saving myself 33 calories per beer!)
I climbed up and down a few flights of stairs at work with Allison(and actually thought I might die in a dark, dirty hospital stairwell)
Brian and I got a gym membership (only works if you actually drag your ass out of bed and GO THERE!)

I started going to the gym 3 times a week religiously (and if you read my 'confession' above, you can probably tell how religion and I work out...)
BUT, I did do cardio-45-60 minutes a day, and I lost 8 lbs!  Then I would go to work and get me a big 32oz refill of Coke and stop by the vending machine for some chocolate donuts 3 times a week, and those 8lbs came and went weekly. 

Then vacation was upon us-our family trip to Florida! 
Disney-where I wore capri pants and short sleeve shirts in 97degree weather.
The Beach-where I had my plus-size, one piece swimsuit on under capri pants that I would never have taken off in a public place. 

We got home from vacation, and I found out another friend and fellow PD wife was also going to a trainer at the same gym Brandi went to(Andrea you look great girl!) and I was doubly jealous.
THEN, I was chatting with another friend on my way to work one Monday afternoon, and she told me she was starting HER 12 week transformation the following week(Jenn-you get it girl!) and as soon as she and I got off the phone I called Brian crying.  And I'm not a cryer, feel sorry for myself kinda girl.  I'm a 'do it' kinda girl, and it was waaaayyy past doin' it time! 
So, I picked Brandi's brain the next time I saw her.
She laughed and said she had been waiting for me to take the leap!  She gave me some accurate info, gave me the name of a trainer in her gym that she thought would be a good fit for me, she encouraged me to contact them right away, and she hugged me and told me she knew I could do it!
I spent hours on the phone with Brian that night while he was at work, we crunched numbers, we looked at schedules and 3 days later on our way to Costco I shot a FB message to Brandi's trainer Micah Lacerte at Hitch Fit Gym.  He responded in about a minute and a half-oh shit, the first step was taken, no turning back now!  
The trainer I was asking about had a pretty full schedule, but he would forward my info on to him and I would hear back from him that day.  I'm a deal maker-mostly with myself.  And the deal I made was
"if I hear from him tonight, it was meant to be and I'm all in.  If I don't hear from him tonight, and he waits until tomorrow to call, I won't answer any calls on my cell from numbers I don't recognize.  I can snake out and pretend he had no openings, I must have just had a brain fart thinking I could do this, oh, well!"
Well, he called.... 
That night.

AND he had openings.....
THE NEXT DAY!

HE is James Hanton, personal trainer extraordinare-or at least that's what I'll call him since he is actually willing to take me on as a client!
I was nervous as hell to go down to the gym to meet him for our first sesssion.
I even put on my good underwear.  Who the fuck does that???  Not like he was going to see it!?!!?? 
What the hell is wrong with me???
I called Jenn-where do I park?  where do I go in the gym at?  do I take a towel, water?  do I take my purse in?  Did you wear a sports bra for your before pic?  Did they let you put your t-shirt back on after the pic-or did you work out in your sports bra???
In the parking lot-duh.
In the door marked 'Hitch Fit Gym Entrance'-duh, again.
Newbie herself-didn't know yet.
Ummm, of course-you are in a shady neighborhood.
Yep-wear that sports bra proudly and let it allllll hang out for that lovely before pic.
Most definitely-the t-shirt goes back on prior to work-out.  whew!
Check, I was ready. 

I walked in to Hitch Fit(with my purse) and met James!  Instantly loved him!  We chatted for a few minutes, talked about payment, schedules, menu, etc.  then did the dirty deed-weight, measurements and picture.
Here's the frank part:
weight: 195 lbs 
I've shocked a few people with that one!  but you don't look like you weigh that much-you carry it well!
Well, let me tell you, I've been carrying it for about 6 years now, and I'd really like a lot less body baggage.
BMI: 44.4%
those numbers spare me from the 'morbid obesity, very high risk' category by less than a percent.  I'm actually in the 'severely overweight, high risk category'
Picture:
Ha-ha! Thought you were gonna get to see that huh?  Well, you're gonna have to wait until I have an "after" picture to post beside it!

Down to the nitty-gritty we got that day.  Lower body work out.  Yep, James kicked my ass-with my own weak legs, and fat body.
And I went back for more the next day!  Upper body-again kicked my ass with my own weak arms and fat body. 
And I loved it!

I have seen James for 3 sessions now-2 per week.  With cardio 7 days a week, and a diet from hell or a shitty women's prison whichever you compare monotonous, bland food day after day to.

And when I got on the scale this morning I weighed 188lbs!  That is 13 lbs down from 2 weeks ago yesterday and 6 lbs down in a week!
Rock the f*%!k on!!!

I haven't had a coke(or a taco, or a piece of pizza, or one of the brownies my daughter brought home from Topeka) in 9 days.
And I've lived! 

My wonderful husband is doing the diet with me, and so are the kids-by default since neither have jobs or transportation to buy themselves any crappy food anymore!  And better yet-Brian meets with James for the first time this week-we are truly going to do this together!
We will be skipping the Weston Irish Fest this year (oh, the blasphemy!)  But it will be too soon for us to be tempted by the wonderful Irish food and even smoother Smithwicks!
And the Williams' are upset we can't get together and have hot wings-soon, I promise, soon-like in 5 months!
And Aaron was at my house today drinking my beer-go ahead baby-drink it all!

I said I'll be frank, and frank I'll be, if you promise to follow me on this journey, cheer me when I do well, cry when I cry, encourage me when I'm feeling tempted, and keep your negative thoughts to yourself. 

I have no room for negativity

and remember

I haven't had a Coke in a loooong time......