Thursday, June 30, 2011

Fallen off the wagon....again.

Yep, talking about me, but not talking about AA.  Talking about the weight loss battle I've been fighting, quite expensively I might add, for almost a year now.  I've fallen off the wagon, it's been an epic fail, and whatever new trendy terms you can coin to describe that I've managed to keep off the 20lbs I originally lost in the first 10 weeks of working out with James, but that's about it. 

So with the news of Ethan's upcoming surgery in 6-8 weeks, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided that would be the perfect goal to work towards.  Ya know, much like the Policeman's Ball, and my 40th Birthday were goal dates back in February and April.  Fruck-where did the time go?  It's freekin' July (well, almost. practically. might as well be dammit.)
Anyway-goal time, again.  30lbs in 30 days...yeah right says James, trainer extraordinaire.  But with that perfectly white smile and twinkle in his eye. But Nutri-System, Slim4Life, LA Weight Loss, Jenny Matthews and everyone else on the damn radio says it can be done...
Ok,  Let's be realistic-12lbs in 6 weeks is more likely. 
Ok, then I'm pushing for 15lbs-bring it on!!  

So starts my new regimen of running.

Yep, I wanna be a runner.  Why?  I love running clothes-not the men's shorty shorts we wore in 6th grade in 1983....the new cute women's stuff-oh and the shoes are pretty rockin' too.  Have I ever mentioned my love of shoes?  Quick Fact:  went on 5 day cruise in 2005 with Jody, sis, mom, step-mom and lots of other women.  Jody and I took about 30 pairs of shoes total between the two of us.  No lie.  My husband thought I was crazy.  Well, he still does, but that's a whole new blog post. 

Anywho....back to running.
Download the Couch to 5K on the new phone.
Load up the ipod shuffle with some new jams (love Niki Minaj's Super Bass-but most of her music is rated R -BTW)
laced up the running shoes.
reset my calorie counter watch to my new age of *egads* a 40 yr old Female, and reset my resting HR, weight, etc.
*FUNNY story about the calorie counter watch-was wearing it a few months ago and did my normal 500 calorie burn routine on the elliptical and when I was done looked at my watch counter and it said I just burned 2,687 calories!!!  Woo-freakin'-hoo!!  WTF am I doing this 5 days a week if I just burned that many calories in one hour???  I'm gonna be a size 2  by next week at this rate!!  Yeah, jackhole, watch counter soooo not right.  Reset and did same thing next day-487 calories burned-just like the damn elliptical said I did the day before. 

Sorry, keep getting off track.  Back to running:
Outside, decent morning weather, start with 5 minute brisk warm-up, then let the man's voice on my C25K tell me what to do next.  Before I know it, I'm like Forrest Gump, running round the neighborhood 60 seconds at a time.  And I'm loving it so much I decide to get crazy and run down the big hill on the busy street next to our 'hood.  Down the hill, awesome.  Up the hill, not so awesome, but I did it.  Crossing the street to get back to hood, and I'm right in the middle of a 60second run, so of course I can't stop to cross the street and step properly up the curb.  So I leap onto the curb with what I think is all the grace of a gazelle, and more like the lumbering elephant I am, I come crashing quite awkwardly on my right foot just right.  Well, really wrong, and my knee knows it.  Ouch, and many curse words follow.  And those of you who know me well, the F one is my favorite.
 
But I'm tough, and I wanna be a runner so bad. 
I keep going, thank heaven I was back to my 5 minute cool down walk. 

Home, ice, heat, ibuprofen and a little wine-I mean whining and it felt better. 

So, a few days later, and a couple more runs later-though with much less gazelle leaping, I finally get back to work out with James.  My right knee is killing me, it's on fire like a hot poker sticking through it. 
Again, I'm tough. I can do this.
He modifies one of the exercises I am doing so I can actually complete it, and I make through my hour of pure blissful torture.
After talking over my epic failure with James, he reassures me he is still willing to work with me, help me and set new goals (again) and help me get there. As always when I talk to him, I am motivated, and excited and feel like I can tackle the world. 

 once I get home I decide to run, again. 

And though it's not AA, I will admit this. 

My name is Kari.
and I'm NOT a runner.

But I'm back on the wagon.  And I'm losing that 12-15 lbs in the next 6 weeks.
Come hell or high water
and we've got lots of high water around here.

And ibuprofen, ice and heat packs...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day- Top 10

Happy Father's day to all Dads everywhere.  Especially to my husband and 'baby daddy' Brian.  On  this day just for you, I figured I would swallow my pride and finally admit that you have been *gasp* right about some things which I just stubbornly have refused to admit, and we argue about on at least a weekly basis.
 However-this admission is happening today, and today only-as a matter of fact, within 10 seconds of reading this post it will disenegrate, blow up, disappear, and be lost forever (insert the "Mission Impossible" theme in the background here)  So, if you accept this mission-know it is one-time only, as once gone, I will never, ever admit to them again!

I borrowed this idea from a favorite blog I follow:  www.rantsfrommommyland.com
Kate and Lydia are absolutely hysterical for the self-proclaimed not perfect, but perfect for our family unit-Mommies.

I've actually made it into a Top 10 list -I have to admit it was hard to come up with 10 things, but I did it!

10.  Ok, the baby really DOES have too many clothes.  It's kind of an addiction of mine, but heck, since we can't really buy him toys, what does it hurt to have 42 summer outfits and 13 pairs of shoes??

9.   I am a 'distracted' driver.  I am not quite ready to admit what you say that I am a 'bad' driver-but I will say I tend to be distracted at times by my phone, the radio, screaming at children or trying to text while holding a large mug of beer while driving on the way to bunco....

8.  I have an addiction to Coke.  The red, shiny like a Christmas tree ornament, cold can of divine happiness.  I don't do drugs-can't I have this one vice???

7.  I do pout.  Occassionally.  Only if I really think it will work, or don't get my way.

6.  I will be late for my own funeral.  I just want you to know that I come by this trait of tardiness naturally.   I think there is a gene I should be tested for, I'm sure it's been passed down for generations in my family.

5.  I have enough scrapbooking supplies.  But, much like #8, this is a legal addiction.  But if I don't buy it while I see it, it could be gone.  That fabulous paper pack that will look so great with Hailey's high school graduation pictures on it.  Some day...in like 4 years when she actually graduates, even though I've only made it to her 2nd birthday pictures anyway.

4.  I sometimes purposely wait for you to get in bed and get comfortable before asking you to get me a glass of water, turn off the light, or whatever annoying thing I can think of to ask you to do just to see if you will  get out of bed and do it.  Yep, I admit it-I say that I don't do it on purpose-that it just happens that way, but secretly, I sometimes do it on purpose.

3.  I am a closet hoarder.  Have you met my father?  That's all I'm gonna say about this one-at least it's an admission.  Again-a gene, passed down for generations.  It is nearly physically impossible for me to throw something away that I may use or need someday which seems completely and utterly useless to you.

2.  I have too many hair products and yes, get angry enough when my hair doesn't do what I want it to that I throw cans of expensive hairspray at the wall and punch a hole in it.  Not sure I want to elaborate on this one, kinda makes me sound a little crazy, huh?  My cousin Anthony will understand this one though, right???

and for the final, #1 admission I will post for all the world to see-one time....

1.  I will admit that I appear to others much more put together than we both know I really am.  I'm just a hot mess most days running around like a chicken with my head cut off, juggling way too many responsibilites that I can't seem to let go. 
But then again, honey, that's why you married me-cause I'm all that, AND a bag of chips...(oh, and I do love cheesy cliches like that)


Happy, Happy Father's Day Honey.  Thanks for being my baby daddy!