Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I feel pretty, oh, so pretty.


This will probably sound like a very shallow post, but I'm just gonna go with it-
I got the most awesome haircut and color last week!  I am absolutely in love with it! 

If you are wondering why I am blogging about my hair, it's because I haven't had hair I have loved for over a year.  And those of you who know me well, know how I feel about my hair. 

This picture was taken exactly a year ago-Jan 30, 2103 with my work friend Connie

This is this week:  yes-my hair grew that fast!!

  
                             

                      




I know that nobody wants to see pictures of my hair, but getting to this point, all my hair back, is a milestone for me.  One I'm very proud of.   
And yes, note the cleavage in the second picture...again, proud. 

Dear cousin, Anthony, hair stylist extraordinaire, I tried to wait until I saw you to have this done, but being that we haven't been able to work out our weekend in the Motel 6 in Hays, Kansas, and the fact that there would be waaaay to much drinking involved to even consider letting you come near my hair with scissors and color, I went with my local hair magician, Vanessa at Fringe Salon.  She is fun and beautiful and I couldn't be happier!  I've even stopped doing my own haircuts and cheapo, OTC gray coverage!  You would be proud!  

Thank you Vanesssa, for making me feel pretty again!  










Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!

2014 begins with most of our household under the weather-except for the bald kid!  So far anyway. 

2013 was an interesting year to say the least. Not our best, but we got through it. We began the year with renewed hope. I celebrated my Cancerversary in February with no evidence of recurrence and began my reconstruction process in April.  But to our utter disappointment, Ethan went into severe heart failure in May. We then began what became our four month journey of ups and downs with him. It doesn't sound like very long; four months. A third of a year. But when you are wondering every day if it's the last day you will hold him, rub his bald head or hear his silly squealing laugh, four months is a long time. 
My 'Mom determination' kicked in and with lots of research and advice from other Moms, and my smart friend, we got him to the best place possible and walked away with the best outcome. It's hard to believe we had our youngest son's funeral planned, but ended up bringing him home after only ten days. And with a beautiful new valve. He defied the odds, and of course, we owe a debt of gratitude to the physicians and staff at Boston Children's Heart Center.  And to our friends and family who helped get him there. 

We still hold our breath at each Cardiology follow up, and have had some minor setbacks, but all is well. So well in fact, that Ethan gained 6 pounds in 3 months!  And it's not fluid this time. The boy who hadnt gained one 'real' pound in 4 years because his heart was working so hard it was burning more calories than he could take in.  He's now sitting unassisted for longer periods of time, reaching for things he wants and has become so much more vocal and purposeful in his actions. Amazing things a 'fixed' heart can help one do. 

2013 made me the mother of two high schoolers!  Argh!  Parker's freshman year brought a football season that started out awesome, but was cut short due to a broken collar bone. Fortunately it healed well, and he avoided surgery. He's now all cleared for contact sports, will start track soon, and try to bulk up for football in the fall.  

Hailey is a junior this year, and between college prep classes and club volleyball, we are researching colleges.  Her future plans are Pharmacy and/or Nursing, and her requirement for college is 'at least three hours away'.  Until she has to do her own laundry and wants a home cooked meal that is....

Brian and I celebrated our 11th anniversary in June and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.  We bulit and moved into a new house that keeps me from having to climb stairs carrying the bald kid and worrying about my bum knee giving out midway down.  I changed positions at work to weekend days, from years of nights, and right before Christmas Brian got a days shift with the PD!!  

I have officially resigned from my volunteer position as President of KCPD Friends & Family, effective today. It's been a great opportunity to get to know other wives that completely understand the crazy life we lead. I have made some friendships I will cherish forever, and appreciate the support I have received over the last seven years. It has been an honor to serve and I hope I was able to make an impact in our blue community in some small way during those years.  Thank you all for the memories. 

Our family motto of 'paying it forward' will continue this year as we foster our relationships with other local volunteer organizations.  Giving of our time to help others will be a primary focus this year. 


I've grown a lot in this last year. It was our triple play of crappy years. 2011, 2012, 2013. I'm not sorry to see any of you go, but am pretty darn proud to say we made it through.  We've seen the good in people through all the support we've received, and we've seen the bad. Those who stood by us-we know who you are and are more grateful than I can put into words or ever re-pay. And those who judged us with snarky comments, judgemental of my children or my actions, feel free to come live my life.  We know who you are too, and we don't really care anymore. I'm betting you wouldn't have made it through one week, let alone the last three years we did. 

So 2014 is OUR year. I'm going to be the best version of me I can be; which means getting rid of the negative.  I've grown quite appreciative of the straightforward truth; whether being given to me, or from me. I've spent most of the last year with a smile on my face but an ache in my heart. I let people hurt me and hid it with a laugh or a joke.  Mostly because that's just who I am and how I'm built. I am strong, and allowing others to see my feelings have been hurt is a sign of weakness.  Or at least that's what I thought. If someone really cares about me, I should be able to show my weaknesses and vulnerability.  But I've taken the high road, been the bigger person, blah, blah, blah, cliche, cliche, cliche for far too long.  And it's no one's fault but my own. I own up to also having been a part of the snarky, judgemental behavior, and it will only end when I no longer participate.  

So this begins my year of change. It won't happen all  at once, and I will slip and fall and get off track. I will also only surround myself with those intent on helping me get back on track without judgement and holier-than-thou attitudes.  It should be an interesting journey, and if you care to join me, you are more than welcome.  But I am strong, a survivor and I can do it. I can be a better wife and mom. A better example to my children. A better friend, co-worker and employee.  We all can. 


The last year has taught me that life is short and there will always be storms to weather.  But it's not about who shows up with an umbrella in the middle of the storm it's about who is willing to wade with me through the deep puddles. 

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and storm-free 2014!!