That’s been our motto for quite some time.
It is what it is....
It’s kind of how we deal with all life’s little curve balls. And the big ones. What’s the point of getting upset over things out of our control? It only makes me a stark raving lunatic and then everyone suffers when that happens.
So, it is what it is.
Ethan’s in the hospital. Again.
Ethan needs a valve replaced. Again.
Brian needs shoulder surgery. (Only one! Score!)
Kari has breast cancer. Again.
Yep. Again.
It is what it is.
It all started with some right arm numbness and burning pain shooting from my axilla (armpit) to about my elbow. Sometimes even hand numbness. I’m a right side sleeper, it’s obviously neck pain from late night Netflix binges of Ozark Season 2 and trying to be quiet and hide the light of my laptop to keep from disturbing Brian’s beauty sleep. So I do what any normal person does and I go to my Chiropractor. Who is absolutely amazing by the way. But to no avail, going on three weeks of the symptoms, a few chiro visits, a massage lots of anti-inflammatories, and some expired muscle relaxers I dug out of the medicine cabinet washed down with a dry red, I get no real relief.
Ok, so I have a 3 month follow up at the Cancer Center and figure I’ll mention it to my NP.
Let’s check it out. So all up in my armpit and right boob she gets. Hmmmm, maybe she feels a lymph node...I had several removed from that side so who knows? Maybe it’s an adhesion on the muscle or tendon from the 3 major chest surgeries I’ve had in the last 6 years. Maybe it’s....let’s just get an ultrasound and find out. I leave thinking I’ll be doing some physical therapy real soon and it will all be good.
And that’s what I get for thinking.
Ultrasound on Monday showed a mass in my right axilla. Near the edge of my right implant.
Mass. Refer back to my first ever posting of my first breast cancer diagnosis and you’ll know how I feel about that word. My super fabulous, no bs, sono tech calls Radiologist who comes and looks and says let’s biopsy it. Today. Right now. A little sedation from my awesome nurse and a few passes of a biopsy needle from a great Rad and a bandage and some steri strips and off I go.
I spent most of the rest of Monday in a funk. Napped a lot-cause I’m good at that. And tried to stay off the internet and avoid searches involving the words ‘breast cancer recurrence after mastectomy.’
Did you know that the localized recurrence rate of invasive ductal carcinoma after mastectomy is
10-15%?
Well, I do now.
NP from the cancer center called Tuesday evening around 5:15pm and that number on my phone at that time is never good news.
Pathology already shows the biopsied areas were Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.
Yep-I’m in that 10-15%. Which baffles me because I shouldn’t, I’m not supposed to, had a major bilateral mastectomy surgery with 8 rounds of chemo to follow to ensure, that there was no breast tissue left and if it was we killed it with drugs.
It is what it is.
If you’re reading this you probably know me. And you know I like to plan. I need to plan.
Plan A, Plan B and Plan C. And if all else fails, because let’s face it, have you met us? Plans D-Z.
Plan right now is figure out if this is exactly the same cancer I had before.
Meaning hormone receptors and HER2Neu status. (Lingo for different types of breast cancer and how they respond to treatment-kind of). Because this could affect how we treat it.
CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis happening tomorrow then appointment with Oncologist next Wednesday.
And that’s as far as we’ve gotten for plans.
That kind of makes me more of a stark raving lunatic than anything else.
The dreaded waiting game.
So, that’s all we know for now. I’ll update as we find out more. I’m sorry some of you already know this info and some of you are finding out here. The last 10 days have been an amazing roller coaster of emotions connecting with Brian’s biological family. And the incredible fairy tale that has ensued from the day he made contact. And we’ve been hanging on to that happiness and joy and as long as I didn’t put this into words it didn’t exist, right?
Well, it is what it is.
Typically.
But not this time.
Because I beat this bitch called cancer once before, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve too.
So bring it cancer.
But bring it good, cause you’re not getting another chance.
