Finally got to leave the house today!
But, only to go to the Cancer Center.
Had to do a drive-thru Covid test and have 2 negatives before I can come and go freely at the Cancer Center and for my PT.
So today is the first and Friday my second.
Until those come back negative, I get to park in the garage and be snuck in the back way to my treatment room in isolation.
Not too bad since they don’t really want me here they are moving quicker than usual to get me done and gone.
Today I’m getting labs-CBC, Chem, Estradiol and CA 27-29 (tumor marker).
And also will be getting my Faslodex and Xgeva shots.
They’ve held my Kisqali (chemo pill) since 8/24 because it depresses my immune system and we didn’t want to make it any worse. So today’s labs will help tell them if my counts are high enough to start it back up. The shots really don’t bother my counts, just give me a sore booty for a day, so we are on track with those as long as my Calcium level is good today.
My 3 month CT and 6 month bone scans should have been yesterday, but we pushed those to October. I was having horrible back pain right before I got sick-like morphine/muscle relaxer/tramadol/not sleeping/take your breath away back pain that has oddly subsided. I had mentioned it to my lymphedema PT because my last appointment with her she could tell I was in pain. And it just so happens she is certified in spine work too......she did a few stretches and interesting positions on me and showed me some stuff to do at home and it clearly did the trick. I have had almost NO back pain since. When you’re Stage 4 and have a new pain, your mind goes to all the dark places. Worrying about losing my ability to stand and walk and be independent is terrifying. Though I would really love to be able to go to my amazing Chiropractor, that resource is no longer. With mets to bone, your bones look like Swiss cheese full of holes, thus rendering that bone less strong and stable. When chemo works-and we know mine has been-the bone becomes sclerotic, or more rigid, but not necessarily more stable. It can actually become so rigid that it doesn’t ‘give’ and be at risk for pathological breaks. Having the mets in my spine and pelvis is concerning for that reason. So a new pain typically equates to some new panic.
I did have some xrays on 8/19 and they didn’t show anything new-but the CT and bone scan give more info than plain films do. But not having the pain anymore that needs all of those meds to take care of helps me feel better that the new scans won’t show anything either!
Things have been slow going at home. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m moving with my hair on fire all the time and this ‘resting’ thing is really cramping my style. But I am following doctor’s orders and doing just that. It doesn’t take much to remind me when I’ve overdone it.
People have asked how I feel-and for the most part I feel great. I have definitely been ‘sicker’ before, but the fatigue is like nothing I have ever had. Brian still has some times during the day he needs to sit and rest also.
Which is hard to do when you’re trying to get a house ready to sell.....
Yep, cat’s out of the bag.
The house is going on the market mid-September.
After a garage sale this weekend (I’m crazy)
And the big dumpster in our driveway is gone.
No, I don’t know what we are listing it for yet.
Yes we have an agent.
After 26 years on the PD Brian is retiring in December!
I’m a firm believer things happen for a reason-hence our motto “It is what it is”
•Me having Stage 4 MBC
•Crazy world pandemic
•Brian not making the Captain’s List
•Hailey getting into PT School out of state
•Parker getting a ‘real’ job
•4/5 of us getting Covid and clearly me the worst.
I had accepted the fact that I have about 3-5 years left on this spinning rock and was ok with that living the status quo.
But when you are faced with the illness I was two weeks ago and the unknowing and uncertainty and fear, it really hit me that I don’t want to die. I don’t want 3-5 years left and I definitely don’t want to die from some damn virus. And I’m really not going to let that happen sitting at home! (Not that we can really go anywhere right now anyway-thanks Covid).
And I realized the other day that this summer was probably the last time all 5 of my family will ever live under the same roof again.
It is a surreal feeling.
I have an almost 24 year old out of state in Grad School and a 21 year old starting a new job that could likely be his career and wanting to move out on his own.
I kind of felt this way when Hailey went away to college-but this is such a different feeling than that-and even then we still had Parker home and got an extra year with HayJay.
So, in just a few months it will be me, Brian and the bald kid.
(Yay, woo-hoo, snap/clap)
Just kidding
So when the opportunities presented themselves to us that have, we decided to go for it! I know we’ve said our retirement is going to be in Texas, but it looks like we’ll actually just be moving to the other side of the state.
Yes, the St Louis area.
I would have never imagined that we would be fortunate enough to find Brian’s bio family,
AND them be just a few hours away,
AND such wonderful people
So we’ve got lots of years to catch up on and it seems the universe worked out this way so we could. I’m lucky with lots of family I’ve always lived relatively close to, now is Brian’s turn and we are thrilled we are getting this chance.
Not all the details are figured out right now, and plans will be fluid and likely change and be tweaked more so as we get closer to December-but for now-it is what it is and soon enough I guess I’ll be sporting some Cardinals red!
Time is short, don’t take the days for granted, because I’m here to tell you the rug can be ripped out from under you at any moment and completely change your life.
I know that sounds trite, but it’s basically how 2020 has played out for me, and I’m calling this year a wash.
Not in a bad way.
Not even in a good way.
2020 just kind of ‘happened’ to me, so it’s time to make the most of this year!
Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support-y’all got me through some rough times and still do.
Be safe and be kind
-K
