Sometimes life just isn’t fair.
That is the working title of the book I’m writing. And only because “the names have been changed to protect the guilty” I probably need to write under my nom de plume and can wait.
But a book about life being unfair, that’s one I’ve been writing in my head for years. I’m not bitter, because what’s the point? I don’t want to be one of the miserable people I come across who have been dealt a crappy hand and then want the world to pay for it. Or at least hear about it and live in a “poor me” state of existence.
Cause let me tell you about crappy hands….if there were odds on my latest one, most people would stick with the house. But I’m here to tell you, I’m gonna see that cancer card and raise it. I’m betting on me.
In case you can’t tell, I got my PET scan results back.
And they are not good.
My bone mets have progressed.
A lot.
All the previous spots are showing activity- thoracic spine and lumbar spine, as well as areas in my pelvis.
But now, it’s showing active in my cervical spine, more spots in my thoracic spine with a large lesion on T4 and T8, in my lumbar spine L5 is the worst.
Add to that:
•my proximal bilateral femurs (upper thigh bones on both legs)
•ischium of pelvis (near the same place I had cryoablation in 2020)
•all over my pelvis
•left clavicle (collar bone)
•left scapula (shoulder blade)
•sternum (breast bone)
•bilateral ribs
And….3 spots were found in my liver.
Yep, sometimes life just isn’t fair.
But, we also found that with the blood test I had done, that the progression is due to a mutation of my cancer. I now have the ESR1 mutation, or Estrogen Receptor 1 mutation. This often happens in advanced breast cancer that is already hormone positive and tested with an aromatase inhibitor, which I have been for the last 3.5 years. Basically my cancer is a sneaky bitch and figured out a way around the treatment that was working. It was only a matter of time before the line of treatment I was on quit working. My Oncologist said she usually sees about 18-24 months of progression free time with the regimen I have been on. I got 41 months! That’s pretty darn good.
I also have the PIK3CA mutation. The PIK3CA gene holds the instructions for making a protein called p110 alpha (p110α). P110α has many functions in the body, including:
- cell growth and division
- cell movement
- producing proteins
- transport of materials in cells
- cell survival
A mutation in this gene can cause cells to divide and replicate uncontrollably; commonly breast cancer.
Both of these mutations need to be treated with targeted therapy. And I have 2 options:
Elacestrant -brand name Oserdu
Or
Piqray -you’ve probably seen these commercials.
Piqray is a hard drug-side effects can be very brutal; nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, bone pain, severe fatigue, loss of appetite, elevated blood sugars, and more great ones.
Elacestrant just got FDA approval early this year. And the side effects are less severe.
Both are targeted drugs that can work on the bone mets as well as the new liver mets. So I’m going with the Elacestrant. And if it doesn’t work, I still have the option to do the Piqray at a later date.
Both are oral meds! And I get to stop all the injections I’m getting now.
I know, not what anyone expected, least of all me. But, it is what it is. Literally.
And there is nothing I can do about it,
Other than cure cancer next week. And believe me, if I could, I would. So for now I’ll have my daily 5 minute pity party and move forward.
What’s that saying about not being able to control what happens to you, only how you react to it? Yeah, all I can control is how I react to this news, and it sucks, but the more time I spend wallowing in sadness and self-pity, I’m missing out on life. And I refuse to miss out on whatever life I have left.
I got to attend my niece and nephews grad and grad parties this weekend, and see some people I haven’t seen in a while. And I have more plans this week to keep on living life. But I am putting together my serious bucket list in the meantime.
I do see my Onc on Thursday to chat about starting this new med and what my options are for pain control of the bone lesions. Possibly radiation, kyphoplasty, who knows. I just know the pain gets harder and harder to handle and taking morphine around the clock doesn’t work for me. So we will see what she suggests.
I apologize if you’re reading this and hearing about it for the first time here, actually not many people know at all. My kids and sisters do and that’s it until now. This is the easiest way to tell the most people and I’ll be honest, I don’t like the tear filled eyes and looks of pity when I tell people in person. If you want to scream and yell and break shit-I’m totally down for that. But please don’t feel sorry for me. My kids, yes. They shouldn’t have to deal with this on top of all they’ve dealt with their whole lives. Again, sometimes life just isn’t fair.
NOT F*%$ING FAIR.
go break a plate, you’ll feel better.
Believe me.
I do want to share that my Uncle Ron was greeted in Heaven by his Mom and Dad, sister and brother on Friday. He was surrounded by his immediate family and listening to music. Exactly how I’ll always remember him-music was his passion. As well as his love of service to others and the Lord. I have no doubt we’ll meet again someday, so I expect you to have that guitar and your beautiful voice ready for me Uncle Ron.
To my Aunt Amy and cousins; Luke, Nicole and Seth, Laurel and Danny, Holly and Justyn and kiddos-I’m so sorry for your loss. May your memories bring you some peace and comfort.
For my Mom and Aunts Jeanne, LuAnn and Michelle-I love you all and am sorry you are laying another sibling to rest.
Please keep them all in your prayers in the days to come.
I’ll keep y’all updated on my treatment plan. But in the meantime show some kindness and grace to those around you, and especially to yourself. I know I am.
And I’m also ready to keep fighting, so if you’re a gambler, bet on me.
Love and hugs,
K
