Moving along....slowly....

Y’all may hate this weather, but I am personally looking forward to putting on my flannel jammie pants tonight when I get home from work and not taking them off again until I have to get ready for work Monday morning. (Ok, I might shower and put on a clean pair of flannel jammies) I’m gonna snuggle up with a bottle (or 6) of dry red wine and my dogs, a fleece blanket and the remote. And I’m not leaving the house.
I am mentally exhausted this week from all the phone calls and emails and doctor’s visits and research I’ve done this week.
I have learned a lot.
A lot I didn’t really want to know.
The statistics are not great with my new diagnosis.
The median survival rate for metastatic breast cancer is 3 years.
Yes, that number is 3.
36 months.

It takes my breath away and makes me tear up even typing those numbers.
Did y’all know I’m 48? And will be 49 in April.
Cancer doesn’t care.
It doesn’t care how old, I actually prefer young, I am.
Or that I have 3 children.
And a husband.
And family.
And friends.
And a career.
And dogs.
And it wouldn’t care if I was single and childless and petless and friendless.
It doesn’t care that I make a decent living.
And it wouldn’t care if I was rich.
It doesn’t care that I have amazing people in my life and that I know God.

The one thing cancer does best is the one thing we wish everyone did.

Cancer does not discriminate.

The one attribute we hold people and employers and rules and laws to....it does better than anyone.
And dammit does that make me mad.
Not that I deserve NOT to have metastatic breast cancer just because of those things I listed above. Or that I wish cancer on a group of people I deem unworthy. But after 2 times already.....could it just have skipped me this one time???
But then who would that unlucky person be, if not me?
I certainly don’t wish it on a child.
Or a young adult just starting their life.
Or a new mom.
Or new dad.
Or that sweet lady at the grocery store.
Or that lovely gentleman at the drug store.

I honestly just wish cancer didn’t exist.

That we could discriminate against it;

“Nah, I don’t like you Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer because of how you look, so move along. No place for you here. “

If only.

That was my 5 minute pity party for myself today.
And yours too.

Wondering what I mean by that?
A long time ago, and I mean like 15 years ago when Ethan was born, long before even my first breast cancer diagnosis, I realized I could spend all day feeling sorry for myself, or my situation, if I wanted. And believe me, some days I wanted to. Or I could spend 5 minutes a day doing the crying, screaming, what-if, why me, life is unfair pity party and then still have 1,435 minutes left in that day to do something productive. And when you only spend 5 minutes focusing on the negative each day, there’s a whole lot of good you can find in the remaining 1,435.

So I give myself 5 minutes each day.
Sometimes it’s in the morning when I wake, but before I’m out of bed.
Others it’s not until I lay down to try and sleep after a trying day.
Then, there’s the days it hits me smack dab in the middle of lunch.
Or dinner.
And some days, yes there are some days, that I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.
There are actually lots of those days.
Yes, even now.
Because I give myself that little allowance of time doesn’t mean I need it everyday. I only do because I know myself well enough to know that if I get upset or let the tears start, and I haven’t already got a plan in place and a limit on self-pity, I could be an emotional, hot mess dishrag and cry for days.

5 minutes.
And then it’s time to get up, get my smile on and move forward.
Try it on those tough days.
We all have them.
It really does work.
And I need people to realize that I don’t need longer than 5 minutes to hash over my latest dilemma with you.
You can cry when you see me, I get it. I’m amazing and this will likely kill me.
You can’t live without me, I mean who really could?
And you’re hurt and angry just like I am.
And I will probably cry too.
Because, again, emotional hot mess dishrag here.
And then I will probably crack a completely morbid joke about giving out shots at my funeral as you walk in.
(Ok maybe more appropriate at the visitation)
5. Minutes. Up.

One thing I cannot do,
Will not do,
Do not have the strength for,
Is to hold anyone else up during this ride.

I have my kids and husband and a very large family-y’all are included in this too-that I need to help gently guide down this shitty, bumpy path to eventual life without me.
And my own mortality to cope with.
So, I’m sorry if that seems selfish, but in simple terms, I just don’t have the time or energy.
By all means, I want you on this journey with me, and I am so thankful and blessed for all of the amazing support I have. And I will share with you every step of the way.
Ask your questions, there are none that scare or offend me. Many questions people have asked in the last couple of weeks have helped me move down paths I wouldn’t have necessarily thought of.
So don’t get caught up in the sadness of it all, take your 5 minutes like I do and then let’s move forward together.

And in moving forward, I have somewhat of a plan. And this may all end up scrapped and tossed out the window and changed ten times in the next month. But when you’re dealing with a terminal illness, that’s ok! Treatments change and minds change.
And situations change.

•On Tuesday 1/21, I am receiving my teaching education on the three drugs I mentioned in my previous blog; the Xgeva, Faslodex and Kisqali.
•I had a simulation planning CT to set up the potential fields of radiation for my hip.
•What I’m most excited about is that I have a consult with a KU Interventional Radiologist next Friday to see if I’m a candidate for a procedure called the Osteocool. This is a radiofrequency ablation done to bony lesions that is showing some pretty good success in regard to pain relief.
I will know more next Friday and share with you what I learn.
I can’t thank the people who sent me this info AND helped facilitate it enough.
Options are important to me.
And pain relief is coming in high priority right now too.

I’ve also learned that with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer, I’ve kind of become the black sheep of the cancers.
There is far less funding and research on Stage IV MBC. And it is the reason 40,000 women die annually.
Cancer still in the breast
DOES NOT KILL YOU.
Read that line again and ask me if you have any questions about what that means....
That is why early detection is key.
Anywho-it’s like I’ve already got one foot in my grave. No sense of urgency in getting my meds figured out last week, no real help in regard to medication for my pain that I can actually take AND go to work.
CC Nurse:”Oh, we called in the Morphine for you”
Me: “ I can’t take morphine and go to work”
CC Nurse: “you work?”
Me: “yep, full time. 12 hour shifts. On my feet. In healthcare actually. Morphine not compatible with any of that”
CC Nurse: silence.
Ahem.

And not a good response from the Radiation Oncologist I met in regard to not starting Rad Therapy until my consult with the IR Rad about the Osteocool.
“Then I’m not sure why you’re here anyway.”
“We do this all the time and it’s fine”
“You can’t have both and if you can I’ve never seen any literature on doing it, I’m not sure there is any”
Sorry, I like options. And I have some.
Ps-time to improve the bedside manner. Literally bedside while I was lying in the Sim room CT scanner.

Did I mention my 5 minutes sometimes includes head shaking and big sighs....

And as much as I adore my Oncologist, I am seeking another opinion as to course of treatment. It may end up being exactly the same. Or someone may have some magic fairy unicorn glitter they can sprinkle on these bony mets and make them disappear and I need to hear that option too.

So this weekend I welcome some brainless TV binging with the fam, 2,870 minutes of gratefulness, and of course
a Chiefs WIN!!!


Always much love,
K

2020....in with a big bang

I had predicted 2020 would not be boring for us for long, I just didn’t expect it to happen before mid-January. And I would take boring over the news we got last week any day.

It seems as if cancer isn’t done with me.....my tumor marker (Ca 27-29) has been in normal range since I finished chemo in January. Normal being anything under 38. In August it was actually 24. This lab is not the best lab to be used for recurrence, but it’s all breast cancer patients have.
Well, in November my Ca 27-29 was elevated at 54. And I moderately freaked out as I had been fighting all the lung/cough/asthma stuff for 5 months by then. But the cancer center was convinced it was elevated because I had shingles a couple weeks prior to having it drawn and they suspected that had caused it to be up. So the plan was re-draw a month later. A month later was December 26th and it was again elevated. Only this time it was 74 and clearly showed no signs of being a false positive.
So we decided to start with a CT of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, which would basically cover any areas in question.
The results are not good, as it appears my breast cancer has spread to my bones. To my spine and pelvis/hip area to be specific.
My upper back-thoracic area has 3 vertebra with lesions at T4, T7 and T9. And my in my pelvis my ischial tuberosity (think of the bony part of your butt cheek) has a pretty good size lesion that is 5x2 cm. Which explains why my hip has been hurting for several weeks. I felt like I had strained it doing some workouts and so I kept doing some stretching and yoga thinking that would help-little did I know!?

I haven’t seen the Oncologist yet, but she called me and we briefly talked about my options;
because I have significant pain in my hip that is not going to go away since it’s being eaten up with cancer, we are going to do some radiation treatments to help control the pain. Hopefully as early as next week with meeting the Radiation Oncologist and getting that started.

The drugs I’ll be starting are
Xgeva- a shot which is to help prevent fractures in patients with bone cancer and bone diseases.
Faslodex-also an injection used in estrogen positive breast cancers, also to help bony spread.
Kisqali-a pill used in conjunction with the Faslodex for metastatic breast cancer.

That’s what we know so far. I’m working and kind of holding it together. Dr Sheehan is trying to come up with something that I can take for the hip pain that’s not narcotic-so I can work.

I’m sorry if this is how some of you are finding out-I needed to tell my kids and family and that took everything in me to do it without crying.
Which I did anyway.
I’m mad and angry and in disbelief and pissed and want to scream and throw things.
Which I plan to do.

So for now ‘it is what it is’.....
Our familiar motto.
Much love to you all, we will keep you updated as we find out more in the days to come.
I might be down, but don’t count me out, people with breast cancer bony mets can live for years, and I assured my husband he can’t get rid of me that easy. There are lots of great drugs on the market and new advances being made all the time to stop this terrible disease.

And I plan to continue to be a survivor.

Happy NYE 2020!

It’s not even 9pm on New Year’s Eve of a new decade and I’m comfortably lounging in my jammies, a hot toddy in one hand and the remote in the other. Hubby is working The Power & Light NYE Party (KC’s restaurant/bar district)
Hailey is in Chicago getting ready for their big night out, Parker is downstairs with friends getting ready to leave the house so it’s me, the bald kid-who would rather watch King Julian than hang with me, and the dogs-who are happy to be sitting basically on my lap.
2019 was a crazy year.....

I beat breast cancer. Again.
Hailey graduated from college
Parker is still at home and deciding (and changing his mind weekly) what he wants to do when he grows up.
Ethan started growing hair. Ok it’s really just a patch. And it’s dark. And it’s hideous and probably gonna get shaved off soon. But hey, maybe he won’t be ‘the bald kid’ forever.
Brian was diagnosed with diabetes. Which he’s handling quite well.
We met Brian’s new extended family at the family reunion and were welcomed with open arms and are already looking forward to the next one.
I went fishing in the ocean again. And loved it.
I got to visit a city on my bucket list and eat beignets, buy a voo-doo doll, drink a hurricane at Pat O’s and walk down Bourbon Street in the heart of NOLA.
I binged a lot of Netflix and Prime.
I read fewer books than I wanted to.
I made some new friends and spent time with my old faves.
We gained a dog, and we lost one.
Some days I smiled and laughed so much my face hurt and other days I cried so much I thought I would run out of tears.
Funny, you don’t.
We lived and we loved and we learned.
And that’s all from just one year-there’s not enough time to recap the decade-just know I started it in my late 30’s and thought I knew it all-only to be quickly educated and now in my late 40’s can admit I will never know it all!
Time is precious and short and though parts of 2019 were challenging at best and downright shitty at the worst, I wouldn’t trade who I did this last year with.

I can only hope 2020 is a little less ‘extra’. But being that we are who we are, that’s highly unlikely.
So it is what it is, and we welcome it with open arms.
And a few shots.

Happy New Year!
May your 2020 be all that you want it to be-and all that you make of it.
Cause I’m making it my bitch, so drop that ball and get this New Decade going-I’ve got stuff to accomplish!

Is summer really almost over???

I cannot believe August is almost over.
This summer flew by.
Just a quick update of the latest in our crazy world;

Bald kid is back in school for a week and I get notes home that totally bust his freeloading skinny hiney about how many steps he’s taking there. Yeah, we’ll be setting some goals for that step taking at home real soon Ethan Charles.
He’s got several of his annual appointments coming up soon-Cardiology (with our other favorite bald guy)Rehab (with a new doc!)
Ortho (love Dr Schwend) and a PT eval to re-start some pool therapy and a nutrition check for his weight loss over the last year (12 pounds lost unintentionally). I’ll share hopefully all good news from those!

Parker and Hailey are both in our basement just like the good ole days. You know-one nagging the other over the dirty bathroom and trash emptying and laundry while the other rolls his eyes at her and does most of it to annoy her I’m sure. I have to be honest though, in the midst of the sibling discord, I am happy they are both under my roof. And even though they may act like they can’t stand one another, they have been going to the gym together and my house has never been vacuumed this much since we moved in!

We celebrated my Dad’s 75th Birthday and had some awesome family pics taken. I really like the one of Dad and Teresa and my siblings and spouses! Hailey was in Chi-Town at Lollapalooza so we’ll have to photoshop her in later I guess. I’m lucky to still have my Dad around and kickin’, Lord knows I gave him plenty of gray hair and high blood pressure in those 75 years...

Since my cough sounds like that of a 3 pack a day, oxygen wearing, 80 year old with emphysema, I earned myself a bronch. Among other tests in the weeks to come.
A bronchoscopy is a procedure where a pulmonologist will pass a scope down into my lungs to take a look around, along with washings and a biopsy if warranted. The good part about this? The drugs. Oh, and maybe an answer to my 8 week coughing fit.
I’ve also scored an echo of my heart, a sleep study AND a methacholine challenge (test for asthma).
Had the bronch done yesterday and it was not my test of choice. Though Dr Ladesic only had the scope down for 6 whole minutes and that part wasn’t bad at all thanks to the versed and fentanyl, the prep for it was terrible! First you do a breathing treatment with lidocaine to numb your mouth and throat. And numb it becomes. I felt like I couldn’t swallow or cough. Then they shoot some lidocaine jelly up your nose-both nostrils-to numb that where the scope will go. Yes, down your nose. My eyes watered, my nose burned, my mouth and throat were numb and then I was asleep and it was all over. I was not really totally asleep-but I definitely don’t recall any of the scope placement at all. He took some washings and scrapings and we should have results by end of this week.

I’ll just be thrilled to hopefully have some answers and maybe some relief soon. It’s getting exhausting. Though I can say I’ve broken into my stash of “the good pills” I had while on chemo and had some decent sleep the last few nights.

I’ve also come to realize that I am simply not going to ever get rid of my glasses. After trying some multi-focal contacts the last two weeks, and actually having both contacts in the same eye at one point, I am admittedly going shopping for some new spectacles on my days off.
Don’t. Even. Ask.
It wasn’t pretty and I’m shocked I was able to figure out what I did wrong and not jack the contacts up. Or my eye.
Touching your eyeball is not all that-I’ll stick with glasses for now. Probably forever.

Our friends from Oregon passed through KC on their multi-state camping journey and we were so happy to spend some time with them and meet their little girl! Wish it could have been longer-we promise we will make it to Portland soon Wackfords!

Brian and I are getting ready to take a kidless vacay to Gulf Shores and we are so excited! We’ve got an offshore fishing trip planned and a jaunt over to NOLA to visit his Uncle Mike and Aunt Margaret and cousin Little Mike and Sydney-someplace neither one of us have been! Send me your must-sees, must-dos, must-eats and drinks....

And since Labor Day is right around the corner, you know what that means in KC right?? Irish Fest!!! We are for sure heading down Saturday-depending on the rain-so if anyone wants to join us-Slainte!

Will keep you updated on my tests and results. Please send the good juju-and the health fairies my way-I don’t want to be sick on our upcoming trip!

-K

Hello, my name is Kari. And I’m a Quitter.

I’m a quitter.
If there was a Quitter’s Anonymous I’d be the leader of the meetings.
But eventually I would quit those too, because historically, I’m a quitter.

I’m a great starter.
I love to start new programs, new challenges, new work-outs, new groups, new anything and I’m in!
All in, 100% gung-ho, balls to the wall, sign me up, I’ll buy that, ALL IN.
But....then I quit.

My intentions are always good.
Each new thing I start is ‘the one’.
The one I’m going to stick to, the one I’m going to work hard at.
The one I’m going to FINISH.

And....then I quit.

So last year when Sally messaged me after I posted on her page about a product/program
(Insert my husband’s groan “again???” here)
I told her my goal was to firm up my nutrition before I started chemo.
I wanted to have something good, nutritious, easy to make and carry, easy to get and keep down when absolutely nothing appealed to my chemo wrecked taste buds.
And I bought a bag of Shakeology every month or so. And I even did a work-out or two here or there.
After chemo I had surgery and a bad arm.
Then radiation and a worse arm.
And Sally never went away.
She wasn’t in my face about my nutrition or my work outs or my purchases.
She sent little messages.
“Thinking about you today. Hope you’re feeling well”
“You’re such an inspiration!”
“You got this”
“Sorry you feel so bad”
And really, she should have quit on me.
I was a sideline watcher.
A creeper.
A Facebook stalker.
I watched all her pages and posts and Lives.
And I just watched. Never really participated.
And Sally never went away.

A couple weeks ago she messaged me about a new program our team was starting.
Really, when I’ve quit everything else to date she thought what the heck-and gave me the opportunity to start it.
And I’m so glad I did.
I made a commitment to this new program
Morning Meltdown 100 by Beachbody.
100 days of workouts with nutrition plans and recipes included.
Sure! Sign me up!
I mean, I am a FABULOUS STARTER.
just a seasoned quitter too
So I started the MM100 last Monday.
And I loved it from day 1!
20-30 min workouts in my own home!
For my bad knees, uncoordinated self, having the 2 modifiers has been a lifesaver. And when it’s a move I simply am not able to do yet, I just keep moving the best way I can.
Because someday, I WILL be able to do those damn firecracker kicks-I promise you!

I got through the first full week. My nutrition definitely needed a little work (ok a lot!)
But I did 8 work-outs in a row. Or if I missed one, I doubled up the next day. And then the crappy upper respiratory stuff I’ve been battling for 6 weeks got the best of me.
Long nights of coughing and no sleep did not bode well for workouts. So I got 4 behind.
Poor nutrition didn’t help at all either.
So I got another round of steroids, pushed the water and good dense nutrition and perked up.
My goal was to start the 3 Day Refresh program today as a jumpstarter to the next week of workouts.
Remember what a quitter I am??
Well, I did day one with no problems!
They laughed at me at work when I walked in today with my Nutribullet to mix my shakes in.
And I had all the foods on the plan today AND did workout #14/100 when I got home from work!
As I get ready for bed and feel amazing all I can say is that I’m so glad Sally didn’t quit on me.
And that she invited me into her group of amazing, motivated, positive, REAL, everyday women just supporting one another in this crazy journey called life.

A group I don’t want to quit.

So, be somebody’s Sally.

Because you never know, there might just be a quitter like me waiting for you.
Who needs you like I needed Sally.

So I can leave my quitting days behind.

Just an update...

About a month ago I started having some weird pains in my right arm. Yep, the same side all my problems started with, and very similar to the pain a year ago that prompted me to get the ultrasound that found my recurrence. My arm was falling asleep and heavy feeling and I felt like there was a string connecting the inside of my elbow to my shoulder blade and every time I moved my arm it tightened. I started having trouble with range of motion reaching my arm over my head or behind my back. One day at work I actually had to have a co-worker put my jacket on me because I simply couldn’t reach back with my arm.
It didn’t feel like lymphedema-which is what can happen after an axillary lymph node dissection when lymph fluid has no place to go and the arm swells up-but then again I have never had lymphedema before so I wasn’t sure. I have a compression sleeve I wore as instructed-and it didn’t really resolve any of the symptoms.
I called my amazing lymphedema nurse Sabrina and told her what I was experiencing. When her response was “I need to see you right away-can you be here tomorrow at 11?” I knew something was going on.
My appointment with her was very educational.
Good news was I did NOT have lymphedema of my arm, but I did slightly have some going on in the right boob. Awesome. Easy fix-massage it out and wear a compression type camisole to sleep in for the next few weeks.
*thank goodness for the Ruby Ribbon tanks I bought last year!! Thanks Stephanie and Lori!
Bad news was I had a lymphatic cord in my arm, also known as Axillary Web Syndrome. When you have no lymph nodes, lymph fluid and cells and other stuff gets clogged up and solidifies.
Think Grandview Triangle at rush hour.
In the rain.
With a wreck.
*my KC peeps will get this analogy*
Yah, fun when that jam happens in your arm.

When that happens, you can actually feel and sometimes see a rope-like structure extending from the elbow to the armpit. Mine wasn’t visible to the eye because it was deep. But Sabrina could definitely feel it. And how does one ‘fix’ a lymphatic cord?
With a lot of deep massage.
And I mean DEEP massage.
Sabrina worked on my arm for about 15 minutes and it felt like an eternity. It was one of those ‘hurts so good’ type feelings because as she massaged, she was breaking that cord loose. And in turn, loosening the tightness and pain in my arm.
Woo-hoo! I left there with instructions to get an electric massager and work on my arm with it and do some stretching and range of motion exercises for the next few weeks and then see her back.

Within a couple of weeks it already felt better.
And then last weekend I noticed a hard lump under my original mastectomy scar extending the length of the scar from mid- chest to my armpit and it was tender to the touch. Knowing I was scheduled to see Sabrina today I didn’t worry about it.
And that’s what I get for thinking...

So my lymphatic cord is basically gone.
My breast lymphedema is cleared up.
And now I have radiation fibrosis to my scar and myofascial tissue around my right implant. Hence the hard, lumpy feeling.
Myofascial tissue is a type of connective tissue that provides support to your muscles and bones in basic terms. So, because I’m now 13 weeks out from radiation, we are seeing these side effects, and can for up to 8 months and sometimes a year post Rad zapping. And if I don’t do something about it now it will never get better.
Imagine being in terrible pain and being told that is the best it gets without intervention. If we didn’t work on it now and for the next few weeks it would only get worse.
Today Sabrina did some myofascial release work on my arm and at times I was fighting back tears.
But as bad as it hurt, I let her work on my arm for about 15 minutes. And I could not believe the relief when she was done.
And when she said I would be sore tonight she wasn’t lying. I’ll be popping a muscle relaxer and washing it down with a dry red before bed tonight.

BUT, since I was south of the river, I did get to go have lunch with my bestie that I don’t get to see often enough. Sarah is having some health issues of her own and an upcoming surgery that I know she is worried about so it was really nice to just relax and laugh, a lot, and catch up. She’s been there for me through all this bullshit so please say a prayer, light a candle, send good juju or whatever you do, for my friend for a successful surgery and easy recovery.
My fabulous KU CV RN friend-I may need you to keep an eye on her while she’s there! I’ll message you!

And my other bestie must have known we were talking about her because she text me in the middle of our lunch. Her Mama had surgery today for breast cancer and she’s her caregiver for the next couple of weeks so send her some strength too and her Mama some healing juju also!

Working like crazy the next few weeks. Using up all your PTO and sick time for treatments sucks so the OT has been nice. But apparently everyone in the city thinks my hospital is the place to be and CT scans are the cure for all that ails and we have been super busy pretty much every shift I’ve worked!
Next week we are going down to Fayetteville for one of the last times to bring all of Hailey’s stuff home. She still has some classes the first week of August, but has to be out of her apartment by the 27th. So she’s gonna stay with a sorority sister there and live out of her suitcase for a couple weeks until she’s home for a while.

Lots going on with the bald kid-I’ll save that for another post. Not bad-just some changes we are implementing.
Now I’m going for a walk in the cool (91 degrees at 9:30pm) night air to burn off some calories from lunch and then catch up on Handmaids Tale and Stranger Things....

Our ‘New Family’ Reunion

STOP! If you haven’t read the prior Mother’s Day post, you’ll have a hard time following who these people are that I’m going to be referring to as family in this post. So if you want to be less confused, go back now and read it first. If you choose not to, that’s fine too-but don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Last week Brian, Ethan and I along with Hailey and Logan had the pleasure of traveling to our First Ever Sago Family Reunion. I don’t know how many years they’ve done this, but they do it every other 4th of July and it rotates through the adult Sago Siblings as host. Brian’s Mom Rita is the second of 4 Sago kids, and the only girl. This year the Reunion was hosted by her older brother Al and his wife Marcia who live on Wilson Lake in Florence, Alabama.
And it was so wonderful to meet all of our new family members and their kids and learn so much about the Sago Family.

Brian, Ethan and I left KC on Monday July 1st with a packed van and Minions blasting and headed to St Louis to his Mom’s. There we had dinner with Rita and Kees and a few (too many) glasses of wine. Our wake-up call the next morning was to the lovely sounds of the fire alarm going off due to some bacon cooking....bacon was great, and I’m sure no one in the neighborhood was late for work on Tuesday! From there we headed to Nashville via a whole lotta slow driving for some ‘construction’ on the highway. We actually saw zero work being done, just one lane closed for miles and miles with orange cones. Ahem. We made it to Nashville and parted with Rita and Kees there as they headed further south to Florence and we spent the night to wait for Brian’s brother Kellen to get his wife Susy and the kids there from the airport-they had been in Texas with her Dad for a few weeks.
Wednesday morning we packed up the kids and ‘Shake & Bake’ aka Brian and Kellen and did some quick shopping at Reese Witherspoon’s store Draper James ($$$$-I stuck with the super cute gingham ‘Totes y’all’ lunchbox and a cup instead of the $250 tunic...still an adorable store with sweet Southern charm). Then hit Edley’s BBQ for lunch before we were back on the road to Alabama.

Once in Florence we were treated to a delicious dinner at Rosie’s Mexican Cantina with the whole family that had made it in town so far-like 36 of us! It was so fun, and loud, and I knew then that the week would be a smashing success.
Back to Al and Marcia’s beautiful home on the lake, and we laughed and shared the story of how we first began looking for Brian’s Bio Mom and who we connected with first and how it all played out last September. (You are totally lost here if you haven’t read my prior post-I warned you!!)
Hailey and Logan made it in town late Weds night, as did the Sago’s from New Orleans.
Thursday the 4th of July we headed back to Al and Marcia’s for pictures, bbq, boat rides, kayaking, cliff jumping, tubing, Moscow mules, fishing, fireworks, t-shirt tie dying, homemade ice cream and tons of fun!

From the beginning of this journey to finding out who Brian’s Bio Mom was and meeting her, we have been welcomed with open arms. Last week was nothing different. Everyone was so good to us, and kind and helpful and accommodating with Ethan and his needs and really, just. like. family.

The week for us finished out with a shrimp boil brought by Uncle Mike and Margaret fresh from NOLA. Shrimp, corn, sausage, mushrooms, potatoes, with lemons, onion and garlic was served and I don’t think anyone spoke while we devoured all that goodness. Well, except for when we were fighting over the mushrooms...

Later that evening Brian’s cousin Brett put on a amazing presentation of their Grandfather Alvin Sago’s military time from being drafted to storming the beach in Normandy on D-Day. It was a fabulous presentation of pictures and letters and stories and incredible information. In Brett’s research, he was also able to trace back their family to 1770 French born Alexandre Sago marrying Dutch Margaret born in Holland in 1765. They had seven children in 24 years and Alexandre died in Missouri in 1840 at the age of 70. I am absolutely fascinated with the genealogy of all of this, especially since it was through Ancestry that we found the first relative match of Brian’s-his Uncle Al (married to Marcia, children Brett and Stacy).

We were also introduced to a family tradition, the game of Spoons. I’m not sure any other family plays Spoons with as much gusto as the Sago family....let’s just say there were no injuries. Other than Aunt Marcia’s kitchen table which now needs to be refinished.....Hailey jumped right in and made it to the final round only to be beaten by the veteran spoon player Amy (Brian’s sister) I will have to say the best move of them all was from Stacy-Brian’s cousin and fellow Breast Cancer Survivor, as she leapt and slid across the table and then wrestled the spoon from her nephew Mark!

As we relaxed that evening hoping to catch a glimpse of Natalie (Brian’s cousin)on TV as she couldn’t join us because she is an NBA Referee (Girl Power!) and had to be in Las Vegas for summer basketball, only to see there was an earthquake there that delayed the game due to the jumbo scoreboard shaking enough that they were worried it may fall on someone! FaceTiming with her later in her hotel room, she was experiencing the aftershocks and all the hangers in her closet were shaking!

I truly enjoyed getting to know everyone a little bit better-Little Mike the NOLA firefighter who kayaks with gators and his lovely wife Sydney who is an OT. His sister Michelle and her adorable daughter Brynnlee who has no fear and jumped off the cliff more than once. And Uncle Mike and Aunt Margaret-sharing a few LSU/Arkansas rivalry jabs with! We are hoping to get down to NOLA soon to spend some time with them.

Uncle Shelt and Aunt Jane who couldn’t believe poor Logan had never made homemade ice cream before so Uncle Shelt had to teach him exactly how it was done. Aunt Jane is probably one of the absolute nicest people I have ever met and their kids Natalie-who I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet and Stuart. Or Thuart as Eli calls him who helped with Ethan on the boat and getting his wheelchair up and down the deck.
(And who is single and darn cute btw ladies....)

Brett and Joni (Al and Marcia’s son and daughter in law) who were so fun to talk to and get to know and their kids Anna Paige-who every time she spoke to Ethan he was so intrigued by her and usually flashed her one of his toothy grins. And Mark-their youngest who is a flipmaster extraordinaire who was flipping off the tall dock next to ours and has the greatest personality! He spent lots of time explaining to Emery how earthquakes happen!

Stacy and Jason (Al and Marcia’s daughter and son-in-law) and what a small world to find out Stacy works with my cousin Holly Trumble in Oklahoma and is a fellow breast cancer sister! Their kids; Faith who is a sophomore at Oklahoma State and super talented, badass golfer. Brian is bringing her in to be the ringer on his KCPD Care Team Golf Tourney Team next year! And their son Taton who is also a great golfer and superb football player!

Thanks to Uncle Al and Aunt Marcia for opening your home to us all the hospitality you showed us all week-I imagine you needed a break after everyone left!

Of course spending more time with Momma Rita and Kees and Amy and Daniel and the boys and Kellen and Susy and their kids is always cherished-and being able to have this trip and time with all of them was wonderful.

I’m sure I sound like a crazy person and most of you got lost a few paragraphs back, but I come from a large, crazy family and they have always treated Brian like one of their own. But for him to finally have that connection of his own, his own big, loud, crazy family means more to us than many of you will ever know, and we want to thank everyone for making us feel at home! The kindness and caring, the generosity and inclusion-everyone acknowledged Ethan-especially all of the kids and made sure anything he could do they made happen-like riding in Uncle Shelt’s Boat! It all means so much to us. Hailey thoroughly enjoyed her time with her new cousins and I’m sure some shenanigans ensued we don’t know about!

We are already looking forward to the next one, but we don’t plan to wait that long before seeing y’all again!

Thank you for opening your hearts to us! We can’t wait to make more FAMILY memories with you all!