Aggressive is the name of the game

Met with my awesomely amazing Oncologist today and her not being her usual chipper smiling self put me on guard right away.  I breezed through the last 6 years and this recurrence makes her nervous which in turn makes me a nervous wreck. But I wouldn’t want any other Oncologist guiding me through this so down to business we got.
Went over pathology and I am ER+ PR- HER2 negative. Which makes it a highly hormonal cancer.
My prior pathology was ER/PR+ and HER2 negative so a little change, but still similar enough that they are calling this a ‘localized recurrence’. Localized because (thank goodness) it’s confined to the small area of 1x2cm mass found in my axilla.  CT scan last week shows no evidence of spread anywhere else breast cancer tends to go. And I had a brain MRI recently so we know nothing is there either. Literally, nothing says my husband.

Plan put into action. Aggressive plan.
PET scan to eval for any other possible lymph node involvement and to serve as a baseline.
Surgical eval to get this thing out.
PICC or Port placement for chemo. Yep-gotta do some Cytoxan and Taxotere.
And those are the hair losing kind so, at least I just ran out of hair spray and have no immediate need to purchase anymore.
Radiation Oncology consult. Yep-she wants to kill anything left with some good old radiation. I’m not sure how I feel  about this yet and have lots of questions for the doctor.
In the meantime started on Arimidex to help suppress the hormones from my one ovary and some gabapentin for the nerve pain where the mass is in my arm causing numbness.
Oh, and in the not-so-distant future, I get to have a hysterectomy. Most importantly I need to have my one remaining ovary yanked.


Regarding surgery, I’m nervous about needing to take my right implant out to get clear margins and then have to keep it out for radiation. I’m going to ask if I can at least have my implant to hang on to. Since I’ll be lopsided, I want to be able to at least tuck it in my sports bra for uniformity. I mean, there’s a lot of blood, sweat, tears and surgeries that went into getting that thing-I’m not giving it up without a fight....besides, it has a serial number that can be traced back to me, and I sure don’t want that thing ending up at a crime scene that implicates me! ;)

I have a chemo education appointment next Monday and am waiting on all the insurance approvals for everything else, but we will be moving forward quickly.
All in all, I’m thrilled to have a plan, but I’m absolutely terrified of it.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. I’m worried about the kids, Brian, my family and friends, finances, work, the boutique, etc. all the stuff I know I have no control over, but can’t help being worried about. So bear with me, laughing helps me deal. And tears will be shed. And I’ll take all the prayers and hugs I can get right now. Please don’t forget to include my family in those prayers too.
God works in amazing ways, and I firmly believe that Brian finding his Mom, Dad, sister, brother, half-sister and all of their respective families when he did was truly meant to be. God knew I would need Brian and that Brian would need someone to lean on while being my rock. And there they were.
Thank you to my new in-laws for all your support and for being there for him.

Working on a T-shirt design right now. Since FU CANCER will probably be frowned upon in some professional settings, it will be toned down a bit.  But the sentiment will still be the same regardless..

And since I skipped my hair cut and color appointment this week in anticipation of losing it all soon, there will be a shaving party soon.  Before the roots get any worse for sure!  Like Heather said-at least I already know I can rock the baldness!

Thanks for all your offers of help. Once we have a surgery date I will take you all up on driving and babysitting-me and Ethan that is!
Will update when we know more. Going to see Hailey in Arkansas this weekend and spend some quality time with her at JJ’s Happy Minutes!

Love and hugs,
K