I'm the one from the 'Dotte!?!?!

Yes, I grew up in Wyandotte County-and proud to be a 'Dotte Girl, and something that my husband never misses in reminding me when I have a proud 'dotte moment like the time I overslept and was late picking Hailey up from school. I was 8+ mos preggo with Ethan, it was a Monday morning and I had worked the night shift the night before. Brian was at work and I laid down to close my eyes for just a minute....when I opened my eyes and saw the time on the clock indicating I should have left the house 15 minutes prior, all fashion sense went out the window as I flew out of bed and slipped on the closest pair of shoes and ran down to the garage. It wasn't until I got to the school's driveway- empty of the big, yellow school buses, empty of the long line of car-rider cars, and even empty of the loitering children chatting up their day. Hailey was no where in sight-she must be inside waiting for me to come in and get her.
I looked in the mirror and to my horror realized I had not taken off my eye-makeup before lying down that morning, thus it was smeared all over my eyes very 'my baby's daddy hits me' looking. My hair was the true definition of bad-hair day combined with windstorm. My outfit, ummm, hubby's POLICE t-shirt with holes in it and paint all over it-stretched to it's limit with my baby bump, purple flannel pajama pants with penguins all over them, pink and purple striped Pippi Longstocking looking socks and the shoes? One black Dansko and one red Croc-how the hell did I do that??
I sat there pondering-would it be tacky if I honked the horn for her to come out? Totally.
Or how about calling on my cell phone and asking them nicely to send her out? I would have done that except I didn't have my cell phone with me!
I waited a little longer hoping one of the office ladies or even Hailey would see me parked in the circle drive-and come out-but no luck. I was going to have to go in and get her. I searched around for my sunglasses-maybe they would serve as a nice disguise for me, but I couldn't find them. At that point I even debated going back home and faking sick when the school called to ask why I hadn't picked my child up yet and blaming it on my husband whom was supposed to be on pick-up duty that day swearing he would there shortly, all the while calling him and trying to convince him that it was his fault Hailey hadn't been picked up yet. I could get away with a lot being 8+ months pregnant with his son-but I was pretty sure that one wasn't gonna fly-so I sucked it up and opened the car door and got out. In doing this, I saw my sunglasses on the floor board and bent down to pick them up-I was elated!
As I shut the door, but before I could take one step away from the car I heard a man's voice behind me say "Are you really going in there dressed like that?" Dammit-someone else here late who knows me! I turned to see a neighbor, friend, Dad of my daughter's best friend and co-worker of my husband looking at me in complete amazement. I tried to tell him the story of me working the night before, oversleeping, then waking in a panic that I had forgotten my daughter at school, but before I could open my mouth he kindly held up his hand, re-opened my car door and said "Get back in your car. I will go get Hailey for you-you CANNOT go in there looking like that" God Bless that man, whom I still run into occasionally and often wonder if he remembers that incident or not?!?!? Of course the story does not end there-when I got home with Hailey and walk through the door in all my glory my husband looks at me and says "Wow-if you only had a cigarette and no teeth nobody would question where you grew up...." Thanks honey, love you too.
ANYWAY, back to my original story-Brian was off last night and we wanted to watch a movie together, and since Red Box is much cheaper than the On-Demand movies, off we go to the closest Red Box. Which just so happens to be out of order! No big deal, we'll just drive down to Price Chopper and get it there. As I'm walking in with my husband beside me, I look down and notice that he is wearing socks only-NO SHOES-and they are covered in grass clippings and grass stains from mowing the yard earlier that day!
"Honey-you don't have any shoes on-you can't go into Price Chopper without shoes on-that's disgusting-not to mention complete white trash!"
"Really?" he says to me in a very condescending tone with a smirk on his face. "At least no one from your work is here to see me."

At least I had shoes on!

And I'm the one from the 'Dotte???


Ok-so that story is not what I had intended to write about -but started laughing about it while I was running this evening because I ran past the elderly couple we saw in Price Chopper last night(who BTW absolutely noticed my husband's lack of shoes!) They are obviously neighbors-and recognized me tonight too! Then I couldn't stop laughing and between that and breathing like I have a hole in my lungs because I'm really not a runner, I got choked up and puked in a neighbor's bushes! Of course the elderly couple heard me and turned around just in time to see me in all my glory complete with vomit coming out my nose!

Classy, I know.

What can I say?

I am the one from the 'Dotte!