Happy *late* Father's Day!

To all the Fathers out there, I hope you had a very special day filled with BBQ, fishing lures, hideous ties and awesome homemade gifts from your spawn.  Brian was telling me the best Father's Day gifts he got was when the kids were much younger, and I took them to Target and let them pick out whatever they wanted for their Dad.  He ended up with a fish picture frame, some bandanas, packs of gum and writing pens.  That fish frame still sits on his dressser. 

I received chemo treatment #6 of 8 on Friday, which was #2 of 4 Taxol.  I felt terrible after #1 for almost two full weeks.  My white count was pretty low, so they figured that was the main culprit, but my lab work showed I have a huge Vitamin D deficiency, along with a low white count-still-after Neulasta, and my hemoglobin is way low.  My sunshine vitamin is so low they started me on 50,000 units a week-sounds huge huh?  It's actually just a little pill no bigger than a Tylenol-thank goodness!  Dr Sheehan said all of the jacked up lab work is the reason I had such a hard time recovering from my Taxol.  The bone pain, weakness, muscle pain-all related to low hgb(hemoglobin), and vit D.  She was hoping I would recover much faster this time, but alas, I have not!  I had to go get my white blood cell booster shot today-the Neulasta, and when Jennifer my NP saw me, she decided right away to lower my Taxol dose.  I am achy, uncomfortable, and have the same bone pain and weakness all over again.

There was some talk of stopping the Neulasta, and moving my Taxol to every two weeks instead of every other week, but with my wbc's so low even on the shot, they don't feel like they can stop the shot.  So the other option is to lower my dose of Taxol and stay on my original schedule, plus add some more steroids after treatment to see if it helps the pain. 

Now, I know your first thought is that if we lower the chemo dose, then I won't get the full effect, right?  Well, I asked the same question, and in reality, the amount of chemo recommeded by the folks with all the initials after their names who get the big bucks to figure all this out actually say lower doses of Taxol over shorter periods of time can be more beneficial than megadoses of it.  Since it lowers all the negative side effects doing it that way, it then also becomes beneficial in more ways than just cure too.  Basically saying-I won't feel like I've been run over by a train for days on end, and can actually function! 

Which is good, cause after last tx, and this one, and feeling like a zombie, I was ready to throw in the towel and call it good.  Done.  Finished.  Finito.  Over and Out.
anyway, you get it.  I just want my life back.  I hate feeling this way. 
I have to get my labs checked again on Friday, and if I am still feeling crappy, and my hgb is any lower, they will transfuse me.  Not keen on that.

 Maybe my husband will just bring me a styrofoam cup of O+ and I can suck on that this week.....