Tears

As I logged in to type this post, the TV program Face The Nation just ran the photos along with names and ages of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting.  I have purposely stayed off the Internet and FB, and avoided the news this weekend, but in this last 30 seconds of silence I watched.  Out of respect for those innocent victims and their families, I watched and I wept.
From the safety of my bedroom, with my children snuggled in their beds, tears stream down my face and onto the computer.  The words on the screen are blurry from my tears. Now I offer a prayer for those grieving families for some strength, peace and comfort in the days to come.   And prayers of strength for all those exposed to the evil act that happened at that school;  the surviving staff and students, the First Responders-EMS and Police Officers, and the hospital staff who received victims unable to be saved.

Over the last couple of days as I have spoken with friends about this horrific tragedy, voices got quiet, eyes never met, and the conversations were short as heads were bowed and shook. Lumps formed in our throats and tears in our eyes.  As a mom, I don't want to think that this is possible in my children's schools.  But in fact, in reality, it could have happened anywhere.

Times have changed.  The days of tornado drills being ran monthly have given way to "active shooter" drills and "lockdown" drills in our schools.  I can't help but feel helpless to these changes.
As a parent, I want to protect my children, yet I want them to be very aware of the world we live in today.  Which leaves me with that helpless feeling. Worrying about strangers has given way to worrying about guns and drugs in schools.  
 I question how have we gone so wrong as a society?  Are we all so busy that we can't take the time to look out for one another?  Yes, is the answer.  And I am just as guilty as the next person.
Maybe if we all took a little time out of  our busy lives to notice a struggling, sad, disconnected peer, some of these young people wouldn't feel violence is the answer.

I will not debate gun control, mental health issues, God and prayer in school, or any other issues people want to blame this tragic event on.  I will tell you I intend to spend more time with my family getting back to the basics.  Stressing the importance of  treating people with kindness and fairness. Eating dinner together. Turning OFF the TV and the Playstation, the iPhones and the iPads.  I think we have forgotten the importance of time.  The time we give to our children, our spouses, our friends. Our precious time is whittled away from the everyday things like work, and before you know it, that time is gone.  Time is the best gift you can give, especially to your children.  And while those families no longer have time with their loved ones, I will not squander the opportunity I have with mine.  My responsibility as a parent is to grow and foster a contributing, caring, productive member of society, and I promise to spend more time doing just that.

As a police wife, my heart goes out tonight to law enforcement families. 4 LEO's have been killed in the line of duty this weekend.
In Memphis, TN a 9 yr veteran, mother of four, was shot and killed serving a narcotics search warrant on Friday.
In Washington County, Missouri a Sheriff's Deputy for only two months lost his life on Saturday.
And tonight, in Topeka, Kansas,  2 officers were fatally wounded.   At this time the suspect is still at large.
My husband celebrated his 44th birthday this weekend, and I thank God every day he walks through our front door after his shift protecting our city. But the fear is always there.  After 14 years together I never take for granted the time we have together, as each shift could be his last, but I have learned to accept what is, and law enforcement is what he loves and what he does.  

Lots of tears this weekend.  And lots of prayers.