Go big or go home....I’m about done with that motto

Go big or go home.
That’s our motto.

This big was never my idea. I’m going for home from here on out.

I got home from chemo today feeling great. Seriously. I feel great. I’m sure that will change, but I’ll enjoy the great while it lasts! Brian is sitting on the couch and I see him put his hand on his chest. He says he doesn’t feel good. Heart is fluttering and he feels lightheaded and dizzy and nauseated. I do a little more investigative wifely questioning and find out this has been going on for a few weeks!! And it happened at work today-multiple episodes! Argh!! This cannot be happening. I draw the line.
Ambulance shows up-nothing major on EKG-thank goodness but does warrant an ER visit. Some labs and another ekg later we are now home with a holter monitor on my husband for the next 24 hours and a date with a cardiologist and his primary care doc. In the very near future.
I’m sure this is all stress. My bad news just keeps coming and he’s always been my rock. He feels helpless and he does not like not being in control. Those are all new emotions for him. I’ve only ever seen him upset when it comes to the bald kid’s issues and now me.
I know most all men are like that, and I love him for it. But I cannot handle someone else being sick in this family or I might lose my mind. I’ll stick with losing my hair right now and getting him all better!
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers our way.
Now can someone find the voodoo dolls of our family and return them to me so I can package them in bubble wrap for the next 50 years???

Ps-chemo went awesome-as awesome as pumping toxic chemicals into your body to kill the cancer trying to kill you can be anyway. No side effects from it. No nausea. Yet. Got some decadron and zofran as pre-meds. My dose of Taxotere and then my dose of Cytoxan. And I have plenty of good stuff to help at home. Took about 4 hours total.
Had a great friend with me and I’m pretty sure we entertained the whole place. Oh-and ran into a fellow TMC mammo tech we used to work with who was there with her husband and had some good long laughs with her too!
Now we are home, eating a delicious dinner that Heather Murphy made for us-yes my vegetarian friend made us a roast. And no, not a tofu roast! Digging in to that and some asparagus and baked potatoes then off to bed!