Waking me while I sleep during the day is like waking a sleeping bear, and can be detrimental to your life. My hubby knows this well. But being awakened, after only having been asleep for about an hour and half, to get the news we got on Thursday was well worth the lost zzzzz's. Who am I kidding, I was right back to sleep, only happier!
We received news Ethan has been approved for the Sarah Lopez Waiver. The Lopez waiver is a Missouri program designed for children like Ethan with parents like us. There are guidelines and criteria. An application process, and only 216 spots in the entire state of MO. We began putting together the packet last November, met with the intake coordinator in April of last year and were told we would probably be on the waiting list for 2-5 years. 10 months is unheard of!!!
The waiver is for kids with a "permanent and total disability" who because of parental income levels are unable to qualify for any type of funding for the child's needs. It is for families who want to continue to care for their special kids at home, with no intention of seeking institutionalized care, but need a little financial help. I don't know all the exact details of the waiver, but this I know:
We, and Ethan will be re-evaluated annually for eligibility, and as long as we meet criteria, he can remain on the waiver until he is 18 years old.
This is why the wait to get on the waiver can be so long.
A portion of the funds MUST be used for respite care or nursing care.
A portion of the funds will cover equipment needs.
Ethan's diapers and formula will be covered. Woo-hoo and snap clap!
We don't receive any funds, we pick up the supplies at a specific location, or they are shipped to our home. Nursing care and respite care is paid through the waiver.
Ethan's private insurance coverage will remain in place, primary, and billed first. Only after that will Medicaid consider charges.
With more surgeries for me this year, having care for him while I'm at home recovering keeps Brian from having to use vacation and sick time. Because although I'm home, I won't be able to pick him up, or put him on the bus, or even get him out of his bed.
Having his diapers and formula covered means we don't have to fret about how to feed or diaper him while I'm not receiving a paycheck.
Having respite care means we both can attend the other children's events Ethan would not enjoy or do well at, and the guilt as a parent of having to chose which to do.
As one other amazing special needs Mom wrote me- "it's life changing".
Caring for a special needs child, especially one with the level of care Ethan requires is a full time job in itself. A job I love and cherish, but can be exhausting while also working a full time job.
He will never, and I mean NEVER be able to care for himself.
He will wear a diaper forever.
He will more than likely never be able to obtain enough nutrition other than by tube feeding.
We could lose him any time to a simple cold.
He will never walk, talk, play little league, go to college, marry or have children.
I don't tell you this for pity, that is the last thing we want people to feel for him. I tell you this to give you some picture of what our daily lives are like with him. Our schedules revolve around him and his needs. And many times the needs of our other children, and often ourselves come second. Not anything any parent wouldn't do, but ours will never grow up and lead his own life.
He and his needs are with Brian and I forever. He is our very own little Peter Pan.
He does make us laugh, smile and see the world in a different light. Ethan sees no hatred or prejudice, and wants for nothing more than to be held and tickled and listen to Taylor Swift and hang out with his sissy and his Bo-Bo. To roll around on the ground and watch his crazy dancing light up toys and chew on his fingers.
He really is simple. In a complicated little body.
We are thankful God gave us him.
And the Lopez Waiver will help make his life, and ours a little bit easier.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
New Year, New Plans
2013 has started out pretty busy and hectic-so I decided to take 90 minutes to my self today and enjoy a much needed massage. It was so nice and relaxing I'm sure I left a puddle of drool under the table. I asked for 'firm' pressure, because while I was on chemo, I couldn't have it-and this girl knew what she was doing. I'm only hoping I can avoid getting sick in the next couple of days. It seemed over the last year after every massage, as all the toxins are leaving my body, I would get a little under the weather for some reason. I really push the water, and have had NO SWEETS today at all-even when my husband tempted me with Haribo Gummy Bears. Be strong. I told myself. and I was!
We are beginning a healthier regimen around the Rawley household this month-and this one's going to last. I was shocked last weekend when I realized the little junk food I had bought for stocking stuffers and the soda we had in the house for holiday gatherings was all gone! In 4 days time my kids ate 4 boxes of pop tarts, 18 choco-granola bars, a 3lb bag of gummy bears, a pack of twizzlers, and drank 14 sodas. Seriously. Parker is the bigger culprit, as I found most of the soda cans in his room. So instead of locking up the food, now that it's all gone, it's not coming back in the house. My last grocery trip brought home spinach, carrots, apples, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and NO SUGAR CEREAL. I was being lazy-cause that's really the only reason-and buying the kids the big bags of Malt-o-Meal cereal because I wanted them to have breakfast food. Well, that crap is not food, and my grocery bill is much cheaper when I don't buy it at all! I made some spinach/egg cups the kids just have to microwave, organic oatmeal, and some pumpkin muffins-without the oil. That's breakfast food. We've eaten at home every night since New Years, and it's amazing how much healthier we eat when we take a few hours each week to plan out a menu and thaw out food. And how much money we save. New concept, I know, right? Brian is making carnitas street tacos for dinner tomorrow night, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it! I've pre-made a meatloaf for Wednesday, then it's chicken Thursday and guiltless burrito Friday. I'm down 7 lbs since NYE, and plan to be down a lot more this year. As long as my knee cooperates.
Brian is still working PM's at Shoal Creek, he likes it well enough, it is nice for him to come home for dinner during the evening. Even with me working nights, we can still almost always eat dinner together. He has been asked to take a couple of other positions within the PD at other stations, but can't be let go right now because of how short they are at his station. It's frustrating, as this most recent one is #4 he's requested, and been turned down. On a positive note, one reason his command staff isn't letting him go is because of how well he does his job, and they don't just want a 'warm body' to replace him. It's nice to be needed. Frustrating, but nice.
Hailey's club VB season starts very soon, and her team is pretty awesome looking this year. I really like her coach and her assistant coach has worked with Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor (of the US Olympic Women's Beach VB Team, yep!) and is really focusing on conditioning these girls. One thing that lacked on her team last year. The girls were pooped by bracket play and fell apart from fatigue. That and healthy meals-some of the girls were popping 5 hour energy drinks at tourneys last year, and I don't go for that. Brian and I are not energy drink people, and we definitely aren't going to let the kids be. Protein shakes, yes, Red Bull, no.
Parker is, well, Parker. We are having some struggles with him. Though I'm hearing no different from any 13 year old boy. Just very frustrating. I am constantly having to ask him to do his homework, practice his saxophone, shower, brush his teeth, change his clothes, only to find out he hadn't been. He's very withdrawn, and not extremely social, and that concerns us. We can't seem to find that one thing that he loves, though not without lack of offering him sports and extracurricular activities, etc. Brian is putting his new golf mat down in the basement this week on his days off and they are going to work on his swing and get him ready for spring. He did tell me tonight he wants to go out for track this spring at school, and I'm really excited to hear him express interest in something! He said he's not going to try to run the fast races, but the distance ones-yeah!! He asked if he could go to the gym with Brian and I this week and run on the treadmill-definitely buddy! We will go tomorrow- Another reason to make myself go do cardio!
Ethan is doing well! I say that very guarded, as I sure thought we were headed to the ER the Sunday before NYE. He woke up coughing, with a fever, and was very lethargic all day. I was sure he had aspirated some of his own drool, as the drooling is out of control. We are weaning his Robinul-for drooling-and I'm not sure it's a good idea. He loves to put his right hand, and I mean whole hand, in his mouth, and I swear he touches his tonsils. With that comes all the drool. We don't necessarily want to stop him from putting his hand in his mouth-as he's never been interested in doing that before, but he ends up a complete wet mess, and getting choked up on his own secretions. Thanks to a nurse friend and a very nice produce guy-a peeled white onion in his room has kept all his symptoms from getting any worse-and he's even gotten better. Crazy, I know, but with him we will try anything. We are currently researching getting him some type of high chair, feeding chair for him this year while we still have a durable medical equipment budget allowance on our insurance. His wheelchair doesn't come in the house, his stroller isn't tall enough for him to sit with us at the table, and I'm not sure we can find a typical high chair to fit him. He's long and skinny, but really needs either a five-point harness, or a chair that slightly leans back as he still has issues with trunk control and can't really sit unassisted. I'm afraid a little lap strap won't hold him. Any suggestions from my toddler and special needs parents??? He's 38lbs and 3 1/2 feet long.
I have had to reschedule my expander reconstruction surgery that I had set for the 25th of this month. I won't have enough FMLA time to be off the needed 3 weeks, and I can't afford to not be guaranteed my job when I come back. It is now scheduled for April 12th, that will give me 2 weeks of last year's FMLA, and the 28th of April my new year, and new 12 weeks starts over. Plus, it gives me time to save some paid time off! I hated to have to do it, but it's ok. I will live 3 more months without boobs, I've done it for 9 so far. Kind of re-thinking the DIEP I posted about previously. Just simply may not have enough time to take off for it, and if so, some nice, big, perky silicone implants will do just fine. On this new time table, it puts me trading out expanders for implants anytime between October and December, depending on how well the fills go. Looks like I'm in for at least 2 more surgeries this year.
There are some other issues going on, nothing major, but hoping not to have to have a third surgery on the schedule this year. It's looking like they may want to take out my remaining left ovary, there are arguments on both sides of this debate.
Looking forward to donating some time to local charitable organizations this year, as we did less than we would have liked to last year. Hailey and Parker want to go back to Harvester's, so we will be setting up a date for that and looking for other willing volunteers!
Loving having the kids back in school and the holidays over-though not that it looks like Christmas is over at our house. Guess I need to take down the deco this weekend-any volunteers????
I resolve this year to do quicker, less wordy updates more often.
And figure out how to post pics from my ipad.
Promise.
We are beginning a healthier regimen around the Rawley household this month-and this one's going to last. I was shocked last weekend when I realized the little junk food I had bought for stocking stuffers and the soda we had in the house for holiday gatherings was all gone! In 4 days time my kids ate 4 boxes of pop tarts, 18 choco-granola bars, a 3lb bag of gummy bears, a pack of twizzlers, and drank 14 sodas. Seriously. Parker is the bigger culprit, as I found most of the soda cans in his room. So instead of locking up the food, now that it's all gone, it's not coming back in the house. My last grocery trip brought home spinach, carrots, apples, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and NO SUGAR CEREAL. I was being lazy-cause that's really the only reason-and buying the kids the big bags of Malt-o-Meal cereal because I wanted them to have breakfast food. Well, that crap is not food, and my grocery bill is much cheaper when I don't buy it at all! I made some spinach/egg cups the kids just have to microwave, organic oatmeal, and some pumpkin muffins-without the oil. That's breakfast food. We've eaten at home every night since New Years, and it's amazing how much healthier we eat when we take a few hours each week to plan out a menu and thaw out food. And how much money we save. New concept, I know, right? Brian is making carnitas street tacos for dinner tomorrow night, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it! I've pre-made a meatloaf for Wednesday, then it's chicken Thursday and guiltless burrito Friday. I'm down 7 lbs since NYE, and plan to be down a lot more this year. As long as my knee cooperates.
Brian is still working PM's at Shoal Creek, he likes it well enough, it is nice for him to come home for dinner during the evening. Even with me working nights, we can still almost always eat dinner together. He has been asked to take a couple of other positions within the PD at other stations, but can't be let go right now because of how short they are at his station. It's frustrating, as this most recent one is #4 he's requested, and been turned down. On a positive note, one reason his command staff isn't letting him go is because of how well he does his job, and they don't just want a 'warm body' to replace him. It's nice to be needed. Frustrating, but nice.
Hailey's club VB season starts very soon, and her team is pretty awesome looking this year. I really like her coach and her assistant coach has worked with Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor (of the US Olympic Women's Beach VB Team, yep!) and is really focusing on conditioning these girls. One thing that lacked on her team last year. The girls were pooped by bracket play and fell apart from fatigue. That and healthy meals-some of the girls were popping 5 hour energy drinks at tourneys last year, and I don't go for that. Brian and I are not energy drink people, and we definitely aren't going to let the kids be. Protein shakes, yes, Red Bull, no.
Parker is, well, Parker. We are having some struggles with him. Though I'm hearing no different from any 13 year old boy. Just very frustrating. I am constantly having to ask him to do his homework, practice his saxophone, shower, brush his teeth, change his clothes, only to find out he hadn't been. He's very withdrawn, and not extremely social, and that concerns us. We can't seem to find that one thing that he loves, though not without lack of offering him sports and extracurricular activities, etc. Brian is putting his new golf mat down in the basement this week on his days off and they are going to work on his swing and get him ready for spring. He did tell me tonight he wants to go out for track this spring at school, and I'm really excited to hear him express interest in something! He said he's not going to try to run the fast races, but the distance ones-yeah!! He asked if he could go to the gym with Brian and I this week and run on the treadmill-definitely buddy! We will go tomorrow- Another reason to make myself go do cardio!
Ethan is doing well! I say that very guarded, as I sure thought we were headed to the ER the Sunday before NYE. He woke up coughing, with a fever, and was very lethargic all day. I was sure he had aspirated some of his own drool, as the drooling is out of control. We are weaning his Robinul-for drooling-and I'm not sure it's a good idea. He loves to put his right hand, and I mean whole hand, in his mouth, and I swear he touches his tonsils. With that comes all the drool. We don't necessarily want to stop him from putting his hand in his mouth-as he's never been interested in doing that before, but he ends up a complete wet mess, and getting choked up on his own secretions. Thanks to a nurse friend and a very nice produce guy-a peeled white onion in his room has kept all his symptoms from getting any worse-and he's even gotten better. Crazy, I know, but with him we will try anything. We are currently researching getting him some type of high chair, feeding chair for him this year while we still have a durable medical equipment budget allowance on our insurance. His wheelchair doesn't come in the house, his stroller isn't tall enough for him to sit with us at the table, and I'm not sure we can find a typical high chair to fit him. He's long and skinny, but really needs either a five-point harness, or a chair that slightly leans back as he still has issues with trunk control and can't really sit unassisted. I'm afraid a little lap strap won't hold him. Any suggestions from my toddler and special needs parents??? He's 38lbs and 3 1/2 feet long.
I have had to reschedule my expander reconstruction surgery that I had set for the 25th of this month. I won't have enough FMLA time to be off the needed 3 weeks, and I can't afford to not be guaranteed my job when I come back. It is now scheduled for April 12th, that will give me 2 weeks of last year's FMLA, and the 28th of April my new year, and new 12 weeks starts over. Plus, it gives me time to save some paid time off! I hated to have to do it, but it's ok. I will live 3 more months without boobs, I've done it for 9 so far. Kind of re-thinking the DIEP I posted about previously. Just simply may not have enough time to take off for it, and if so, some nice, big, perky silicone implants will do just fine. On this new time table, it puts me trading out expanders for implants anytime between October and December, depending on how well the fills go. Looks like I'm in for at least 2 more surgeries this year.
There are some other issues going on, nothing major, but hoping not to have to have a third surgery on the schedule this year. It's looking like they may want to take out my remaining left ovary, there are arguments on both sides of this debate.
Looking forward to donating some time to local charitable organizations this year, as we did less than we would have liked to last year. Hailey and Parker want to go back to Harvester's, so we will be setting up a date for that and looking for other willing volunteers!
Loving having the kids back in school and the holidays over-though not that it looks like Christmas is over at our house. Guess I need to take down the deco this weekend-any volunteers????
I resolve this year to do quicker, less wordy updates more often.
And figure out how to post pics from my ipad.
Promise.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
I've been behind getting my posts updated, so as I sit here for a few minutes before I get dressed to go to work on this Eve of the New Year, I thought I would throw together some photos from our holidays.
We celebrated Christmas Eve at our house this year with a Mexican Food Fiesta-complete with Aunt Kathy's bean recipe. Missed not having my brothers here, hint hint. Maybe next year we can all do Christmas together!
I think the most entertaining event of the night was our annual kid competetion gift. This year I wrapped up gift cards in two plastic bowls I taped closed with packing tape, then proceeded to cover it with layers and layers and layers and layers of packing paper and packing tape until the gift ball was a little bit bigger than the size of a basketball. Then we give the kids oven mitts and one minute each to try and get the gift open. They keep going until the winner is the one who finally figures out the trick to packing tape. Let's just say it took a few turns, but Parker finally won. But with much help from the girls who realized that brute force strength was not going to get it open, but to try and find the start and end of the packing tape and peel it away! Unfortunately I didn't get any photos of it, because I was too busy laughing and videotaping it!
My daughter is in Wichita for a NYE Party, the boy is at his cousins-complete with a bottle of Sparkling Red Grape Juice and a mad game of Monopoly. Brian, the bald kid and the dogs are chillin out watching DVR'd football games, and I'm getting ready to go to work. So, if you're going out tonight-be safe, don't drink and drive, I would hate for you to cause an accident or get a DUI, but most of all, I would hate to see you on my CT table
.I can reflect on 2012 as a most interesting year for us to say the least. A lot happened, and we had lots of family and friends there to support us. We are looking to pay it forward in 2013. If we've realized one thing this year, it's how forunate we are, and even when things looked at their worst-our laughter and positive attitudes pulled us through.
We celebrated Christmas Eve at our house this year with a Mexican Food Fiesta-complete with Aunt Kathy's bean recipe. Missed not having my brothers here, hint hint. Maybe next year we can all do Christmas together!
I think the most entertaining event of the night was our annual kid competetion gift. This year I wrapped up gift cards in two plastic bowls I taped closed with packing tape, then proceeded to cover it with layers and layers and layers and layers of packing paper and packing tape until the gift ball was a little bit bigger than the size of a basketball. Then we give the kids oven mitts and one minute each to try and get the gift open. They keep going until the winner is the one who finally figures out the trick to packing tape. Let's just say it took a few turns, but Parker finally won. But with much help from the girls who realized that brute force strength was not going to get it open, but to try and find the start and end of the packing tape and peel it away! Unfortunately I didn't get any photos of it, because I was too busy laughing and videotaping it!
 |
| The Hailes, Gunthers and Rawleys Christmas 2012 |
 |
| One of Christmas tress |
 |
| this is just the gifts from our exchange! |
Me, Mom and Kim
Ethan's pile of gifts, and a dog butt
Frankie liked Ethan's dancing sock monkey
Parker loved his new docking station alarm clock
And all his new golf shirts
Haileys new Coach wristlet
And these strange leopard print Sperrys
Merry Christmas from the Rawley crew!
The kids were all very happy with their gifts this year, and very thankful and grateful. I love all my new jewelry-thanks Anthony for hooking a hubby up-and my new Bose headphones so I can start rocking out while working out again!
We enjoyed our annual NYE lunch today at Fogo de Chao and this year took my nephew Taylor and my Dad. It was fabulous as usual-and fun to watch the boys flip their cards over and watch a slew of gauchos show up with their specialities!My daughter is in Wichita for a NYE Party, the boy is at his cousins-complete with a bottle of Sparkling Red Grape Juice and a mad game of Monopoly. Brian, the bald kid and the dogs are chillin out watching DVR'd football games, and I'm getting ready to go to work. So, if you're going out tonight-be safe, don't drink and drive, I would hate for you to cause an accident or get a DUI, but most of all, I would hate to see you on my CT table
.I can reflect on 2012 as a most interesting year for us to say the least. A lot happened, and we had lots of family and friends there to support us. We are looking to pay it forward in 2013. If we've realized one thing this year, it's how forunate we are, and even when things looked at their worst-our laughter and positive attitudes pulled us through.
I'm as happy and content as I've ever been today and am hoping 2013 continues to bless us.
May the New Year bring you much health and happiness!
Love,
Brian, Kari
Hailey, Parker, Ethan
Harley, George and Frankie
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tears
As I logged in to type this post, the TV program Face The Nation just ran the photos along with names and ages of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting. I have purposely stayed off the Internet and FB, and avoided the news this weekend, but in this last 30 seconds of silence I watched. Out of respect for those innocent victims and their families, I watched and I wept.
From the safety of my bedroom, with my children snuggled in their beds, tears stream down my face and onto the computer. The words on the screen are blurry from my tears. Now I offer a prayer for those grieving families for some strength, peace and comfort in the days to come. And prayers of strength for all those exposed to the evil act that happened at that school; the surviving staff and students, the First Responders-EMS and Police Officers, and the hospital staff who received victims unable to be saved.
Over the last couple of days as I have spoken with friends about this horrific tragedy, voices got quiet, eyes never met, and the conversations were short as heads were bowed and shook. Lumps formed in our throats and tears in our eyes. As a mom, I don't want to think that this is possible in my children's schools. But in fact, in reality, it could have happened anywhere.
Times have changed. The days of tornado drills being ran monthly have given way to "active shooter" drills and "lockdown" drills in our schools. I can't help but feel helpless to these changes.
As a parent, I want to protect my children, yet I want them to be very aware of the world we live in today. Which leaves me with that helpless feeling. Worrying about strangers has given way to worrying about guns and drugs in schools.
I question how have we gone so wrong as a society? Are we all so busy that we can't take the time to look out for one another? Yes, is the answer. And I am just as guilty as the next person.
Maybe if we all took a little time out of our busy lives to notice a struggling, sad, disconnected peer, some of these young people wouldn't feel violence is the answer.
I will not debate gun control, mental health issues, God and prayer in school, or any other issues people want to blame this tragic event on. I will tell you I intend to spend more time with my family getting back to the basics. Stressing the importance of treating people with kindness and fairness. Eating dinner together. Turning OFF the TV and the Playstation, the iPhones and the iPads. I think we have forgotten the importance of time. The time we give to our children, our spouses, our friends. Our precious time is whittled away from the everyday things like work, and before you know it, that time is gone. Time is the best gift you can give, especially to your children. And while those families no longer have time with their loved ones, I will not squander the opportunity I have with mine. My responsibility as a parent is to grow and foster a contributing, caring, productive member of society, and I promise to spend more time doing just that.
As a police wife, my heart goes out tonight to law enforcement families. 4 LEO's have been killed in the line of duty this weekend.
In Memphis, TN a 9 yr veteran, mother of four, was shot and killed serving a narcotics search warrant on Friday.
In Washington County, Missouri a Sheriff's Deputy for only two months lost his life on Saturday.
And tonight, in Topeka, Kansas, 2 officers were fatally wounded. At this time the suspect is still at large.
My husband celebrated his 44th birthday this weekend, and I thank God every day he walks through our front door after his shift protecting our city. But the fear is always there. After 14 years together I never take for granted the time we have together, as each shift could be his last, but I have learned to accept what is, and law enforcement is what he loves and what he does.
Lots of tears this weekend. And lots of prayers.
From the safety of my bedroom, with my children snuggled in their beds, tears stream down my face and onto the computer. The words on the screen are blurry from my tears. Now I offer a prayer for those grieving families for some strength, peace and comfort in the days to come. And prayers of strength for all those exposed to the evil act that happened at that school; the surviving staff and students, the First Responders-EMS and Police Officers, and the hospital staff who received victims unable to be saved.
Over the last couple of days as I have spoken with friends about this horrific tragedy, voices got quiet, eyes never met, and the conversations were short as heads were bowed and shook. Lumps formed in our throats and tears in our eyes. As a mom, I don't want to think that this is possible in my children's schools. But in fact, in reality, it could have happened anywhere.
Times have changed. The days of tornado drills being ran monthly have given way to "active shooter" drills and "lockdown" drills in our schools. I can't help but feel helpless to these changes.
As a parent, I want to protect my children, yet I want them to be very aware of the world we live in today. Which leaves me with that helpless feeling. Worrying about strangers has given way to worrying about guns and drugs in schools.
I question how have we gone so wrong as a society? Are we all so busy that we can't take the time to look out for one another? Yes, is the answer. And I am just as guilty as the next person.
Maybe if we all took a little time out of our busy lives to notice a struggling, sad, disconnected peer, some of these young people wouldn't feel violence is the answer.
I will not debate gun control, mental health issues, God and prayer in school, or any other issues people want to blame this tragic event on. I will tell you I intend to spend more time with my family getting back to the basics. Stressing the importance of treating people with kindness and fairness. Eating dinner together. Turning OFF the TV and the Playstation, the iPhones and the iPads. I think we have forgotten the importance of time. The time we give to our children, our spouses, our friends. Our precious time is whittled away from the everyday things like work, and before you know it, that time is gone. Time is the best gift you can give, especially to your children. And while those families no longer have time with their loved ones, I will not squander the opportunity I have with mine. My responsibility as a parent is to grow and foster a contributing, caring, productive member of society, and I promise to spend more time doing just that.
As a police wife, my heart goes out tonight to law enforcement families. 4 LEO's have been killed in the line of duty this weekend.
In Memphis, TN a 9 yr veteran, mother of four, was shot and killed serving a narcotics search warrant on Friday.
In Washington County, Missouri a Sheriff's Deputy for only two months lost his life on Saturday.
And tonight, in Topeka, Kansas, 2 officers were fatally wounded. At this time the suspect is still at large.
My husband celebrated his 44th birthday this weekend, and I thank God every day he walks through our front door after his shift protecting our city. But the fear is always there. After 14 years together I never take for granted the time we have together, as each shift could be his last, but I have learned to accept what is, and law enforcement is what he loves and what he does.
Lots of tears this weekend. And lots of prayers.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Home, happy and healthy
Got home Wednesday afternoon about 2:30, and after much to do, no real answers. Which is what I figured.
Lab came by at 0400.
Hospitalist came by at 0730ish. She was very nice and was pretty sure they would discharge me by the afternoon pending a visit with the Cardiologist and some more labs. My potassium hadn't even come up a point, so they gave me four more of those big yellow pills and she wanted to see if that would help bring it up before she cut me loose.
Dr Brick Rigden, the cardiologist came by around 0900ish, and I loved him! He was very curious about me working nights, what my hours are, how many nights a week I work, do I switch back to a normal schedule on my days off, how many patients do I scan a night, and so on and so forth. I think he was trying to find out if I was more stressed out than normal, thus causing the heart rate issues. Especially when he found out how crazy this year has been for us! When I explained that I do crazy well, and in fact if things were ever normal around our house, THEN I might have a nervous breakdown. He laughed. Oh, if he only knew.
Anyway- he explained he is sure I had an episode of SVT or supra ventricular tachycardia, and there are 4 main types of SVT and none of which are life threatening, mostly just annoying. Since we didn't catch the episode on EKG, we don't know what type mine is. Though we do know its not Wolf Parkinson White, even though WPW can run in families and is common in first degree relatives, and my son and sister had it.
He offered that there are 3 options-
wear a holter monitor and try to catch an event on it-yeah, no thanks, my luck I would wear it and nothing would happen again for a year.
start on a daily beta-blocker-umm, nope again. I hate drugs. Except the good ones. Like Dilaudid.
Go to the cath lab and have it ablated-yeah, definitely not gonna happen.
Dr Rigden agreed with me that just waiting to see if it ever happens again, and it may never, then we would do something.
He did make me promise that if it did happen again while I was at work, I was NOT to go to the ER and get another patient to scan. Guilty. And I was NOT to go to the cafeteria and get a glass of water. Guilty again. ( I thought I could walk and will it away). I was to go to the ER and get an EKG-right then!
He still wanted an echo, just to make sure I didn't have anything structurally wrong with my heart that could have caused it. Echo was normal except for some mild aortic valve leakage, nothing he would be concerned about unless I was to ever receive more chemo.
Oh, and I was to slow down.
I laughed again.
Not likely, not likely.
On an even better note, I saw Dr Sheehan at the Cancer Center this week, and my lab work has come back great so far. My tumor marker, or CA 27-29 dropped to a 23!! That's a 17 point drop from my initial one of 40! It just has to stay below 38 and all is good! They re-checked my Vitamin D level because I've had some serious tooth achiness recently, and when it was low over the summer, my teeth ached. However, Dr Sheehan felt like it was still some residual pain from the Taxol I received, even though I haven't had chemo since July! Ugh! The Vit D isn't back yet, probably tomorrow, but I've started back up on some anyway, though it doesn't seem to be helping.
Otherwise all is well. Kids are good, bald kid is fighting a cold now for like 2 weeks, but who isn't? Hailey has started club volleyball practice and conditioning-gonna be a fun season with these girls! And Parker has been perfecting his golf swing at the golf academy and in our basement. The weather has even been decent enough lately that Brian has played a few rounds in the last few weeks.
We got the house all decked out for the holidays, and are getting our pics taken for our Christmas card this weekend. Can't hardly believe the end of November is tomorrow.
Stay safe, warm and remember those less fortunate as we begin the busy Christmas countdown.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers for all of us this year! One more month and we can close the book on 2012, welcoming a brand new year full of *hopefully* many less surprises!
Lab came by at 0400.
Hospitalist came by at 0730ish. She was very nice and was pretty sure they would discharge me by the afternoon pending a visit with the Cardiologist and some more labs. My potassium hadn't even come up a point, so they gave me four more of those big yellow pills and she wanted to see if that would help bring it up before she cut me loose.
Dr Brick Rigden, the cardiologist came by around 0900ish, and I loved him! He was very curious about me working nights, what my hours are, how many nights a week I work, do I switch back to a normal schedule on my days off, how many patients do I scan a night, and so on and so forth. I think he was trying to find out if I was more stressed out than normal, thus causing the heart rate issues. Especially when he found out how crazy this year has been for us! When I explained that I do crazy well, and in fact if things were ever normal around our house, THEN I might have a nervous breakdown. He laughed. Oh, if he only knew.
Anyway- he explained he is sure I had an episode of SVT or supra ventricular tachycardia, and there are 4 main types of SVT and none of which are life threatening, mostly just annoying. Since we didn't catch the episode on EKG, we don't know what type mine is. Though we do know its not Wolf Parkinson White, even though WPW can run in families and is common in first degree relatives, and my son and sister had it.
He offered that there are 3 options-
wear a holter monitor and try to catch an event on it-yeah, no thanks, my luck I would wear it and nothing would happen again for a year.
start on a daily beta-blocker-umm, nope again. I hate drugs. Except the good ones. Like Dilaudid.
Go to the cath lab and have it ablated-yeah, definitely not gonna happen.
Dr Rigden agreed with me that just waiting to see if it ever happens again, and it may never, then we would do something.
He did make me promise that if it did happen again while I was at work, I was NOT to go to the ER and get another patient to scan. Guilty. And I was NOT to go to the cafeteria and get a glass of water. Guilty again. ( I thought I could walk and will it away). I was to go to the ER and get an EKG-right then!
He still wanted an echo, just to make sure I didn't have anything structurally wrong with my heart that could have caused it. Echo was normal except for some mild aortic valve leakage, nothing he would be concerned about unless I was to ever receive more chemo.
Oh, and I was to slow down.
I laughed again.
Not likely, not likely.
On an even better note, I saw Dr Sheehan at the Cancer Center this week, and my lab work has come back great so far. My tumor marker, or CA 27-29 dropped to a 23!! That's a 17 point drop from my initial one of 40! It just has to stay below 38 and all is good! They re-checked my Vitamin D level because I've had some serious tooth achiness recently, and when it was low over the summer, my teeth ached. However, Dr Sheehan felt like it was still some residual pain from the Taxol I received, even though I haven't had chemo since July! Ugh! The Vit D isn't back yet, probably tomorrow, but I've started back up on some anyway, though it doesn't seem to be helping.
Otherwise all is well. Kids are good, bald kid is fighting a cold now for like 2 weeks, but who isn't? Hailey has started club volleyball practice and conditioning-gonna be a fun season with these girls! And Parker has been perfecting his golf swing at the golf academy and in our basement. The weather has even been decent enough lately that Brian has played a few rounds in the last few weeks.
We got the house all decked out for the holidays, and are getting our pics taken for our Christmas card this weekend. Can't hardly believe the end of November is tomorrow.
Stay safe, warm and remember those less fortunate as we begin the busy Christmas countdown.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers for all of us this year! One more month and we can close the book on 2012, welcoming a brand new year full of *hopefully* many less surprises!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Admitted
And this time it's not the bald kid, it's me. Cause if it's not one thing with us, it's another...
Long story short, went to work Tuesday night, feeling fine and within 2 hours was in the ER. Out of the blue my heart started racing and by monitor it was 180-200, and my blood pressure was 157/100. The pressure I started feeling on my chest finally sent me to the ER, that and my co-workers coaxing.
By then my heart rate had come down to the 130's, but I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.
Most of my lab work was normal-my magnesium and potassium were low which lead them to believe I was dehydrated. But after 2 bags of fluid, mag and potassium(huge pills by the way-can't believe I choked them down) and two trips to the potty, my heart rate would shoot up to 130 once I changed position from sitting in bed to walking. My d-dimer was slightly elevated, which can indicate a clot or pulmonary embolus, so I got a CT of my chest too. It was negative for a clot, but showed some atelectasis-or poorly inflated areas of my lung. Which sounds way worse than it is, but enough to warrant some breathing treatments and my own personal spirometer.
So, anywho... I'm chilling out in 1099.1 waiting to see what's in store for me when the attendings arrive-probably an echo. We have a history of Wolf Parkinson White, an electrical heart issue, in our family-Ethan and my sister Kate, so I will be looked at closely for the same type of problem.
Thanks to all the wonderful ER staff who took care of me, and one of my fave ER docs, Dr George. Thanks to my X-ray peeps for my CT scan and covering my shift and making me laugh. And my sleep deprived husband for sitting by my side, and my other husband Aaron for bringing me some stuff from home. Love you all!
I'm gonna get some sleep now that lab is done before the day shift rolls in. Will keep you updated!
Long story short, went to work Tuesday night, feeling fine and within 2 hours was in the ER. Out of the blue my heart started racing and by monitor it was 180-200, and my blood pressure was 157/100. The pressure I started feeling on my chest finally sent me to the ER, that and my co-workers coaxing.
By then my heart rate had come down to the 130's, but I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.
Most of my lab work was normal-my magnesium and potassium were low which lead them to believe I was dehydrated. But after 2 bags of fluid, mag and potassium(huge pills by the way-can't believe I choked them down) and two trips to the potty, my heart rate would shoot up to 130 once I changed position from sitting in bed to walking. My d-dimer was slightly elevated, which can indicate a clot or pulmonary embolus, so I got a CT of my chest too. It was negative for a clot, but showed some atelectasis-or poorly inflated areas of my lung. Which sounds way worse than it is, but enough to warrant some breathing treatments and my own personal spirometer.
So, anywho... I'm chilling out in 1099.1 waiting to see what's in store for me when the attendings arrive-probably an echo. We have a history of Wolf Parkinson White, an electrical heart issue, in our family-Ethan and my sister Kate, so I will be looked at closely for the same type of problem.
Thanks to all the wonderful ER staff who took care of me, and one of my fave ER docs, Dr George. Thanks to my X-ray peeps for my CT scan and covering my shift and making me laugh. And my sleep deprived husband for sitting by my side, and my other husband Aaron for bringing me some stuff from home. Love you all!
I'm gonna get some sleep now that lab is done before the day shift rolls in. Will keep you updated!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Thankful
I awoke Thanksgiving morning to the sounds of the bald kid laughing in his bed, my husband snoring beside me, the dogs racing down the stairs and Hailey and Parker conspiring to see if I would let them make a trip to Dunkin' Donuts. I lay there for a moment and thought to myself just how much I have to be thankful for. So much, that there is not enough space to list everything.
As everyone I know, and all the 'thankful' FB posts state-the typical thanks for the things we often take for granted every day-the love of our family and friends, our jobs, the ability to provide for our families, the homes we live in, food we eat, beds we sleep in, and our health.
But more than that, I'm thankful I have been given the chance this year to see just how precious life is.
To be reminded to slow down and roll the window down and breathe in the cool night air.
To listen to the wind blow.
To stare up at the skies on a clear night.
To smell the fresh cut grass and summer rain.
To not take people or my freedoms for granted.
To hug longer and love harder.
I'm thankful I've been given another year to try to figure out how to make a difference in this world.
I'm thankful for the new people brought into my life this year. And those that have always been there.
I'm thankful for the smiles, the laughter and the tears this year. Mostly the laughter.
I'm thankful for all of you.
And Modern Family.
And Raul Esparza the sexy DA from Law and Order. Hotness. Seriously.
As everyone I know, and all the 'thankful' FB posts state-the typical thanks for the things we often take for granted every day-the love of our family and friends, our jobs, the ability to provide for our families, the homes we live in, food we eat, beds we sleep in, and our health.
But more than that, I'm thankful I have been given the chance this year to see just how precious life is.
To be reminded to slow down and roll the window down and breathe in the cool night air.
To listen to the wind blow.
To stare up at the skies on a clear night.
To smell the fresh cut grass and summer rain.
To not take people or my freedoms for granted.
To hug longer and love harder.
I'm thankful I've been given another year to try to figure out how to make a difference in this world.
I'm thankful for the new people brought into my life this year. And those that have always been there.
I'm thankful for the smiles, the laughter and the tears this year. Mostly the laughter.
I'm thankful for all of you.
And Modern Family.
And Raul Esparza the sexy DA from Law and Order. Hotness. Seriously.
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